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Sexology 101

A Hands-On Guide to Female Masturbation

While it may be hard for some to comprehend, plenty of women have reached adulthood without mastering female masturbation techniques that actually work for them. If you’re one of them, relax…because it’s okay to have no idea what you’re doing.

Men – on the other hand – are born feeling that when they touch their penis, they enjoy it and that’s that. Women have a whole different scenario down there that can be a lot harder to figure out.

So let’s dive right in and get to the bottom of this sometimes-mysterious act of self-satisfaction.

Don’t masturbate like it’s do or die.

Make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed or be interrupted. If you only have five minutes or you’ve set aside a day like you need to get this figured out, odds are you’re going to be too stressed to allow the kind of no-pressure chill you should ideally feel when you’re masturbating (at least in the beginning). So shut your phone off, put on some sensual music and take your time.

Don’t hesitate to use some lube during female masturbation.

We recommend using a quarter-size amount of lube on your index and middle fingers, and gently massaging it around your clitoris (the little button-shaped thing at the top of your vagina) and inner labia (the folds inside the larger folds that make up the better part of your vagina). Even though you might think you have enough natural vaginal lubrication to begin with, some women don’t and extra lube will make the experience a lot more comfortable.

You don’t have to focus only on the vagina.

Try including nipple stimulation during masturbation, or grabbing your butt or upper thighs, just to see if that feels good to you. Part of the masturbation experience is just to get a sense of where you’re the most sensitive and what kind of touch feels best to you. Also, by finding the areas on other parts of your body that make you feel really good, you’re boosting your arousal, which will make touch feel different (and probably better), which is always great.

Don’t feel like you have to begin by pounding your clit during female masturbation.

Try some more low-key playful touching, like running your fingers along your inner labia and along the sides of your clitoris, all the way down toward the entrance of your vagina. It’s a good starting point to get the blood flowing down there, which helps increase pleasure and arousal. And you’re also getting a feel for what you like and you can always keep repeating whatever works best.

Use a vibrator – but you don’t have to start with it.

While you might have a better success rate using a sex toy, using your hands in the beginning can be a great way to explore and learn about your body. Also, it’s also more comparable to the sensations caused by a partner’s hands, so if you have any interest in sex with a partner, it’ll help you transition from one scenario to the other more smoothly, and give your partner an idea of about how you like to be touched.

If you need visual aids, get them.

The biggest sex organ is between the ears, so engage your brain during masturbation. Remember sexy times from your past, check out arousing online images or read erotica. Whatever you need to do, stoke that fire!

Need step-by-step directions for female masturbation?

As a sample starter move, slide a finger between your lips to open things up and then get a little lube on your fingertips if more smoothness would feel good. Tease yourself by sliding your fingers back and forth from your vaginal opening to your clit without going inside. Try one finger at a time and then slide a couple fingers into your vagina, curling them slightly. Try using circular motions around the clitoris, rather than back-and-forth straight strokes, making the circles as tight or as wide as you like to vary intensity. This is a particularly good move if you find direct contact with your clitoris is too sensitive and also makes it easier to maintain rhythm when you need it most.

Use penetration if it feels right for you.

Some women don’t like to use penetration when they’re masturbating, but if you want to test it, try slowly (or quickly if you prefer) by moving your fingers in and out while you continue to stimulate your clitoris. You can also just move your fingers in and out without touching the clitoris – basically, you’re just feeling around to determine what you like so you can do more of it!

You don’t have to stay on your back.

While some like to life their legs as high as possible to help reach the internal parts of the clitoris, try turning on your stomach to see if that feels good to you. It’s harder to reach in that position, but some really love it, so why not give it a try?

Now go forth with your female masturbation…you’re ready!

Read: How to Masturbate (Women)

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Sexology 101

Dom Sub: 6 Sexy Ideas Domination and submission are wide categories, and mean different things to different people.

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm or a better relationship. But how often do we hear how we can better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions like those in a Dom sub relationship?

As a reminder, domination and submission are pretty wide categories, and mean different things to different people. Some of the games on this list might sound really hot; some may feel like they cross the line. Talk through each of these suggestions together and see which ones seem safe and sexy to the two of you.

Of course, don’t forget to discuss boundaries and safe words. You can’t play these types of games unless you and your partner are great communicators who are willing to talk about the ins and outs of sexual safety!

Dom Sub Tampa: Our Suggestions

  1. The Guessing Game. This is an incredibly hot game that can be adjusted for all different levels. The Dom blindfolds the sub or makes them promise to keep their eyes closed. Once the sub can’t see, the Dom collects a series of items to stimulate the sub’s body with (make sure to agree on the specific items beforehand, or at least agree on whether or not pain will be involved). As they’re being touched with each item, the sub has to guess what the item is. A correct guess might elicit a reward, while an incorrect one might earn a “punishment”.
  2. Sensory Deprivation. You can take any of your Dom/sub play to the next level by cutting off one or more of the sub’s senses at a time. The sub will feel even more at the mercy of their Dom, as when one sense is eliminated, the others get heightened. Try blindfolding the sub or have them wear earplugs or headphones, so they can’t hear any of the Dom’s movements.
  3. Clothes Control. An easy Dom/sub game to play is to allow the Dom to pick what the sub wears. You can limit it to a play session, or a specific day, or you can try longer periods of time. The Dom can choose sexy lingerie, accessories, role-playing outfits or demand that the sub be naked all day.
  4. Hidden Signs. It’s one thing for the Dom to exert influence over their sub within the confines of their own home, but another to take it out in public. Have the Dom pick something that the sub has to wear out and about. Some hot possibilities are a collar or harness that can be hidden under clothing. Or try a sex toy, like a pair of Ben-Wa balls.
  5. Surprise Demands. There are a million different ways to play this game, but the basic idea is that the Dom surprises their sub with a specific set of personal requirements that have to be fulfilled by the time the Dom gets home. The Dom can leave a list in a place where the sub will find it, or can send text or an email. The Dom can make it as simple or as elaborate as they please. It can even be set up like a treasure hunt, with specific clues to follow.
  6. Remote Domination. Long-distance lovers can get in on the Dom/sub action too, thanks to all of the Bluetooth-enabled sex toys flooding the market these days. The Dom can instruct the sub to insert the toy and wait until the Dom decides to turn it on. The Dom can tease their sub by only giving them little tastes of vibratory pleasure. The sub can also be given specific instructions not to orgasm, even as the Dom goes to town with the controls.

Ready to get started with a Dom Sub Relationship?

Before you do, stop by the best adult store Tampa to shop our complete line of adult products, including adult apparel, adult toys, and complete line of fetish toys.  Throw some sexy lingerie into the mix!

 

How to Peg Your Man for the First Time It's not something you should rush into.

There’s so much swag and accessories that goes along with pegging, it’s easy to skip past all the stuff you need to know in order to deal with how to try pegging and go straight for the shopping trips to get ready to peg your man for the first time. While the shopping is all well and good, there are 5 things you should know about your adventure into the wonderful world of pegging. We’re hoping to make your journey enjoyable for all parties involved.

Create a plan of action to peg your man.

So, your boyfriend casually mentions that he wants to try pegging. Here’s what NOT to do.  Do not go out, buy the biggest strap-on dildo you can find and then stick it right up his bottom. Casually mentioning a desire to explore – and actually following through with it – are very, very different things. Before the two of you start pegging, you need to talk.

Find out how much knowledge and experience he has, if any at all. Talk about any concerns or insecurities that might accompany his desire to be pegged. You might feel insecure when asked to peg your man, believing that they aren’t satisfying their partner. But the pleasure men experience from prostate stimulation is simply different than what they enjoy from standard intercourse. Getting these conversations out of the way before you get started will make you both more comfortable and happy going in. Set up a plan of action going forward – schedule a trip to shop together, and to set up different sessions to explore pegging.

Start small.

Unless your man has a lot of experience with pegging, you will want to start off with a butt plug, toy or finger that is on the smaller size. Also remember it must have a flared base, where it’s wider at the top than where it goes in or it will easily just be swallowed alive. If this is the first time your partner has ever had anything put inside his butt, it’s a dangerous idea to leap straight to a full pegging. It’s dangerous for him because it can be painful, and it’s dangerous for you because you don’t know how much speed and force to use without causing your partner pain or tearing.

Before you step into your newly acquired strap-on dildo, work your way up, starting with some humble play to help prepare him for what’s to come. It will also give YOU a great anatomy lesson. Using your fingers to explore inside him until you find the prostate and learning to stimulate it will be great knowledge to have when you actually peg your man.

Lube it up – always – before you peg your man.

When you are in the heat of the moment, it is easy to forget lube; plus, if your partner seems open, you might think he doesn’t need lube at all. When it comes to pegging – or any kind of anal sex – the more lube, the better.  The human anus has not one, but TWO sets of sphincters.  There are the sphincters we can see externally, and then a second set deeper inside the anus.

Using lube makes your initial penetration through both sets of sphincters that much easier while creating a hot sense of friction.  Just make sure the kind of lube you have purchased is compatible with your toys. The silicone based lube you have for your own playtime won’t work with your all of your toys – we suggest buying specialty water-based lube to use with toys only. That prevents the toy’s material from breaking down and potentially leaking chemicals into his body or yours.

Talk dirty.

Pegging isn’t just the act of penetrating a man with a with a strap-on dildo – it’s an entire sexual experience. Men love pegging because of the stimulation it gives to their prostate, but some men also love the role reversal that takes place when it’s a woman doing the work. It goes to follow then, that you should make the most of that role reversal. You’re dominating him when you’re pegging him, so dominate him with your dirty talk too! Test the waters by asking him if he likes the way something feels – you won’t know until you try.  But don’t force it – if dirty talk while you peg isn’t for you, don’t pretend that it is.

Keep it clean when you peg your man.

You can be very dirty together and still remain hygienic. No toys that have been in his butt should ever go in your vagina unless they have been properly cleaned. Any bacteria that is picked up from the anus could be harmful to the vagina.

It’s also a good idea for him to anally douche with water before you begin to peg your man so that you have a fresh butthole to enjoy. Also, please remember to clean your sex toys before using them the first time, too! Fresh out of the package doesn’t always mean the thing is actually fresh. Safe is so much better than sorry, and if you do it right, you can turn your pre-washing of sex toys into a hot little foreplay game.

Ready to peg your man for the first time? Stop by the best adult products store in Tampa for adult toys, including strap-ons, vibrators and fetish toys. Our adult apparel line includes an extensive selection of lingerie, dancewear, shoes and costumes and much more!

Need some more dom/sub ideas? Check out our blog!

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Sexology 101

What Does a Man’s Zodiac Sign Say About His Sexual Fetish?

Since astrology maintains that our personalities are influenced by the stars, it only stands to reason that our sexual proclivities would also be affected by our zodiac sign.

If you’re in a sexual relationship, and are looking to spice things up in the bedroom, it may be time to take your partner’s sign into consideration. Read on to see what your significant other’s sign says about their preferences and kinks, and then consider whether or not you would be into experimenting with him.

Aquarians tend to dig on a little bit of voyeurism. If he’s allowed to feel like a bit of a sexual interloper, his blood will definitely get pumping. Perhaps let him watch from across the room as you get busy with yourself, or undress as though you’re unaware of his presence.

Pisces are ruled by the feet, and while that does NOT automatically indicate a full-blown foot fetish, keeping (only) your high heels on during foreplay, or massaging his feet are definitely tricks to piquing his sexual interests.

Taurus is a very visual sign, so anything that allows him to drink you up, visually, is a definite plus. Go all out on some sassy lingerie and then perform a little striptease for him.

Aries guys often crave more exciting intercourse, so partaking in quickies in unusual locations will definitely spark his sexual fire. Even a quick round of car sex can satisfy his craving for more unusual sexual dalliances.

Geminis are big communicators, and known for being quite talkative. A Gemini guy will therefore greatly appreciate a little extra naughty communication in bed. So if you’re with a Gemini, be loud and proud with your dirty talk.

Cancers appreciate intimacy, so a lewd quickie is probably not going to cut it for him. However, that doesn’t mean you need to resort to the boring old missionary position, either. Try the spooning position – it’ll give you plenty of intimacy, along with some actual G-spot stimulation.

Leos like to be teased just a little bit. With a Leo guy, it’s all about the long game. If you know you’ll be seeing him in the evening, try sending him salacious texts at various points in the day. The anticipation will make the evening explosive.

Virgos ideal night probably involves a marathon sex session. Set aside an evening where neither one of you needs to get up early, and designate the entire evening to foreplay.

Libras – with their love for all things beautiful – have an affinity for the natural light that accompanies morning sex. If you’re with a Libra, there’s a good chance that he’ll be eager to have sex once the alarm goes off.

Scorpios are known for their intensity, so race-to-the-finish-line sex is not their cup of tea. A Scorpio guy wants slow-burn sex – the kind where you get up intermittently during foreplay and go eat, or talk, or take a walk. It may sound crazy, but he’ll love relishing in the sexual tension all evening.

Sagittarius is all about spontaneity. For him, exciting sex is the best sex, and the most exciting sex is the surprise variety. If you’re watching TV together, perhaps lean over and start going down on him. The more you keep him on his toes, the more enamored he will be.

Capricorns – ruled by the teeth – are the most open to the idea of incorporating food into foreplay. Whether it’s feeding each other, or licking each other, adding some edibles into the mix will heighten their senses and their sex drive.

Give it a try…you never know…his fetish may very well become yours too.

Check out our follow up article on The 9 most common sexual fetishes!

 

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Sexology 101

What do you know about female masturbation?

Studies reveal that almost everyone masturbates. But for some reason, most people are still reluctant to talk about it like it’s something to be ashamed about. So it’s easy to see why there may be some misconceptions out there on what really goes down during solo sex sessions.

Just like there are things women don’t know about male masturbation, there are quite a few things men don’t know about female masturbation, so here’s the deal.

It’s really not that complicated. There is a prevailing cultural myth that women are less interested in sex than men; that we want orgasms less; that we cheat in relationships less. This is a myth communicated by all the ways women are silent about sex.

Here are five things men don’t know about female masturbation:

The Clitoris Has The Starring Role: Anatomically, the clitoris – not the vagina – is the feel good organ in women with 6,000-8,000 nerve endings (which is the same as the head of the penis). When women focus on their own pleasure, penetration is an afterthought. Some women do enjoy having something in the vagina and/or anus during masturbation but most focus mainly on the clitoris when achieving an orgasm is the goal.

Everybody Likes Eye Candy: Women masturbate to porn, too. While probably not the same kind of porn men like, plenty of women still do. In one recent poll, one in three women reported watching porn at least once a week. Unfortunately, most of the freely available porn leaves women wanting because it is so male-focused. Fortunately, other women have heard the call and more and more directors are making porn that involves women as more than objects of male sexual desire and that portrays female pleasure and sex the way women have it.

She May Not Be Thinking About You: Women have lots of sexual thoughts, fantasies and kinks, many of which don’t star their current partners, but because they are still expected to be sexually passive, you may not have heard about them. Start a conversation in an open, non-judgmental way with your partner and you may be pleasurably surprised at where it leads.

Vibrators Aren’t A Threat To Penises: While the clitoris contains the same types of tissues as the penis with the same sensitivities, much of the clitoris is under the surface. The result is that many women require the deeper stimulation that vibrators easily provide. Vibrators can be – and for many women must be – an integral part of sexual pleasure both for solo and partnered sex. Incorporate a vibrator into penetrative sex the same way you include fingers, lips and tongue.

While it’s true the some women have pet names or euphemisms for the vibrators, choosing to use a vibrator is a personal preference, not an addiction. It is all about personal preference and sexual satisfaction. There’s nothing wrong with working the vibes into partner sex.

A Woman Can And Should Masturbate Regardless Of Whether Or Not She Has A Partner: Some people are threatened by the idea of women masturbating, especially if they’re in relationships, which is ridiculous. That’s like saying “Why buy another pair of boots when you already have one pair?” You’re going to buy the other pair of boots. Sexual experiences and orgasms come in all shapes and sizes, each one is different and shouldn’t be in competition with one another.

So…now you know!

 

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Sexology 101

Always Ask Before Doing These Things During Sex!

Consent is essential in the bedroom; in fact, it’s beyond a non-negotiable. And while a lot of lovers understand that when it comes to consenting to having sex in the first place, there are a lot of things that you need to ask before doing in bed.

That doesn’t mean that between every new position you’d like to explore that you’re going to stop and discuss it. And asking doesn’t always need to be vocal – there can be nonverbal or verbal signs. But in general there should be a need to be a clear affirmative that your partner wants to participate.

So no matter how you choose to ask for and show consent, there needs to be some kind of communication. Sometimes, it’s just going to be eye contact, other times it’s going to be a whispered suggestion, and sometimes it might just be a conversation you have before you even get in the bedroom about what you’re going to try. But for a lot of things, especially if one partner is going to feel particularly vulnerable, the asking has to happen.

Here are some things you should always ask before doing in bed.

Butt Play: Although anal play can be great, not everyone is into it. And it can be painful if done without proper prep, so you need to ask and have a game plan. A good way to ease in is to start by playing with perimeter, rather than darting inside. Check in with eye contact and nonverbal cues or ask. Whatever you do, just don’t go right for it. 

BDSM:   Everyone’s definition of BDSM is different. But if you’re trying it for the first time, you need to talk about it. And even if you’re a pro at it, you need to set the ground rules. On any level novice or more, it’s important to ask for a safe word. Make sure to set the boundaries beforehand.

Anything Very New: If you’ve been having sex for a long time with the same partner, you may feel really comfortable. That’s great, but that also means that your partner may be really surprised if you try anything really far out of your comfort zone. Wanting to try a new position or location is great, but if you’re really changing things up make sure your partner is on board.

Fantasy Play: Not everyone is going to be up for everything, so start by asking about your partner’s fantasies outside of sex rather than jumping in. If you just jump into something it may be disorientating or make them uncomfortable. Be sure to move slowly.

Group Sex: You can’t just invite someone else to the party. Never put someone on the spot when they might be uncomfortable.

Not Using Birth Control: Whether it’s a guy taking off a condom during sex or just assuming that his partner is on “the pill” when she’s not, the choice to not use birth control should be a conversation between the both of you. There are big consequences to not using birth control — pregnancy and STIs to name a few— so if you’re choosing not to use it, you must make sure your partner is informed. 

Introducing Toys: Sex toys can be amazing in the bedroom for both gay and straight couples. But the first time you use them can be difficult, especially if one partner is new to them or feels like using toys implies they’re not enough in the bedroom. Be sure to have a conversation beforehand about how much you enjoy the sex and you’re just looking to mix things up and add to it, rather than not being satisfied. It’ll save some emotional stress and you’ll still get an amazing addition to your sex life.

So have the conversation – ask – and then visit us at Tampa’s premier adult store.

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Sexology 101

Your Anal Sex Questions Answered!

Maybe you’ve always wanted to try it but feel nervous about taking the plunge. Or maybe anal is already part of your sex routine and you’re looking for tips to make it even hotter. Or maybe you’re just curious to know what backdoor sex is really like.

Whether you’re an anal virgin or a die-hard fan, you’ll want to keep reading because we’re answering the most common questions and offering some tips.

Isn’t it Kind of…Gross?

The biggest misconception about anal sex is that it’s disgusting and dirty. For some people, that can be true. But everyone should know anal sex can be an extremely erotic, exciting activity. If you’re willing to try it, you might find it an unexpectedly fun addition to your sexual repertoire.

But Does It Hurt?

Research suggests that pain is common, especially in the beginning. But with adequate relaxation and arousal, it should feel good for both parties. If you find insertion painful or difficult, stop and go back to the drawing board.

How Do I Get Started?

The most important thing is feeling comfortable—you can even wash beforehand if that will help. Then it’s all about starting slowly. You can begin with inserting a finger first and using lube to get comfortable with the pressure in your rectum.

Beginner’s Tip: Try Solo Play First

Your two sphincter muscles are not only essential to anal health but also to pleasure. These ring-like structures control what goes in and out of your butt, so you need to become familiar with their functioning and learn to exercise control over them.

Beginner’s Tip: Breathe Deeply

Holding your breath interferes with muscle relaxation, which is essential to anal sex. As you breathe deeply, your inner sphincter muscle will relax to facilitate penetration.

Beginner’s Tip: Use Lube

Most people prefer silicone-based lube for anal sex. But no matter what type you choose, lube is a non-negotiable when it comes to anal play.

Pro Tip: Double Your Pleasure

If you have a vagina and a clit, use them. Insert a toy into your vagina during anal in order to press against the little space along the lower/back wall of your vagina, between the cervix and the vaginal wall. Some women attribute orgasm from anal sex to this hot spot.

Pro Tip: Try the “Lap Dance” Position

The penetrative partner sits on a chair, and their partner stands over them as though they’re giving a lap dance. This not only provides a sexy view, but it also allows the standing partner to exercise total control.

Pro Tip: Incorporate Some Toys

If you really want to amp up the sensation, play with a sex accessory, like a vibrating penis ring.

No Matter What, Always Be Safe

The anus is sensitive and prone to tearing and infection, so be sure to practice safer sex with lube and condoms. It’s also important not to cross-contaminate – you never want to put an object in your bum and then back into your vagina.

If you’re not into anal sex, that’s okay too – you don’t have to create a sexual bucket list and cross off every item in order to enjoy a fulfilling sex life—you simply need to keep an open mind.

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Sexology 101

Go Beyond the Bedroom for Scintillating Sex!

Almost everyone has a bucket list of the best places for spur-of-the-moment sexual experiences they are hoping to fulfill. Sometimes you just have to enjoy some spontaneity. Below we’re listing some of our favorite places for impulsive intimacy to get you started. Just be sure to have fun, be safe and most importantly, get your needs met!

In a (Parked) Car: Having sex while driving is a very unsafe act, which is also against the law, so it’s better to sex it up while parked in a safe – yet remote – location. This is one of the best options for spontaneous intimacy. Imagine you’re driving around and all you want to do is rip the clothes off your passenger. Pull over on the side of the road and go for it!

Going Down? If you’ve ever been thrown against an elevator wall, you know it’s extremely hot! The feeling of a private room that’s moving is quite a sensation! Just be sure to find a building that isn’t super busy so you can push the emergency button and not worry about getting caught.

In the Closet: An intimate experience in a closet can be really hot depending on the location of the closet. If you’re at a party and find a private hideaway, go rock each other’s worlds. There’s an exciting aspect to knowing you may get caught.

Meet Me in the Bathroom: Intimacy in a bathroom is on almost everyone’s bucket list for sexual escapades. Try a bathroom at a restaurant, a club, a friend’s party…any clean bathroom will do.

My Best Friend’s Wedding: This may sound cliché, but weddings are one of the biggest turn-ons for women. There’s typically an open bar, dancing and you’re looking your very best. This is a great opportunity for even the shiest girl in the room to have an out-of-the-box experience with her partner.

Get a Room: Sometimes it’s nice to change things up and rent a hotel room for a night with your partner. You don’t have to worry about making a mess, and there’s room service when hunger hits. Breakfast in bed is another excellent benefit.

Office: The next time you’re feeling a little frisky, why not surprise your lover at work? Doing it in an office might sound like something straight out of the movies, but it’s hot! If you don’t have a private office, find another room in the building that’s private for you and your partner.

Take a Ride in a Limo: Treat yourself and go for a hot ride in a fancy car! Why not reserve a limousine for your next date night and have scintillating sex in the back seat? Make sure you reserve a car with a privacy window, so you’re not giving your driver a show!

Laundry Room: The laundry room is usually the most boring room in the house, but it doesn’t have to be. The next time you and your partner have a spare moment together, get down and dirty on top of the washing machine (while it’s on the spin cycle for best results) for some super stimulating action.

Balcony or Deck: A balcony and/or a deck are both good places to get busy when the mood strikes you because they’re outdoors yet still somewhat private. You get the best of both worlds and you can quickly run to the kitchen or bedroom if you want to add some props into the mix!

Dressing Room: If your partner hates going shopping with you, make it more interesting! Get your partner in a room with a full-length mirror and have a quick session. Doing it in the dressing room is risky, so look for a room during non-peak hours in a store that does not have rules about two people in one dressing room.

You only live once so might as well live it up!

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Sexology 101

BDSM for Stress Relief?

While bondage, domination, and sadomasochism have seen steadily increasing acceptance in our mainstream culture, it’s natural for people to wonder just what the allure is of this somewhat scary sexual phenomenon. But the truth is that when engaging in BDSM with a trusted and consenting partner, there’s nothing at all to fear and quite a bit to gain!

Research has indicated that engaging in BDSM can offer health benefits that extend beyond sexual satisfaction, including stress reduction. Of the people studied who practice and enjoy BDSM, certain mental traits were shared, such as being less phobic, more outgoing, open to new experiences and less sensitive to rejection.

So how does it reduce stress?

There is actually a scientific reason, and it’s similar to a runner’s high. Submissive partners enjoy a relaxed, peaceful sense of mind, while dominants experience their own endorphin-filled version, which is coupled with an increased sense of control and success.

Studies also included saliva samples that were taken of people engaging in BDSM before, during, and after the act. In both the submissive and dominant partners, lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol were reported after participating.

Can BDSM actually increase intimacy?

Exploring each other’s fetishes is an important component of any relationship and a partner’s willingness to explore and then act on their partner’s desires is vital when establishing and growing their connection. Additionally, the intense level of communication during BDSM creates a greater sense of trust in each other, which is the true foundation of honest intimacy.

That said, the benefits of BDSM can be enjoyed in endless ways. Browse our entire collection of fetish toys to find the perfect introduction to exploring BDSM.

Restraints: What’s BDSM without restraints? Tease your lover to your delight with the Fetish Fantasy Under the Bed Restraints. The unit installs between the mattress and box spring of your bed. Ankle and wrist cuffs extend out of the head and foot of the bed.

Paddles: Also popular is the painful pleasure that is derived from spanking. Try our ruler with a perfect grip for spanking. We also have a Beginner’s Paddle or the Sex & Mischief Paddle for the more advanced.

Gags: Want to dive into BDSM with a little more intensely? Try our Breathable Ball Gag, which features a unique cylinder shape, as well as just enough breathing holes to provide a bit of comfort in this otherwise restraining piece. The length is adjustable so it will fit almost anyone.

Spice up your fetish play life with just the right adult sex toys – from blindfolds and gags to restraints and whips – and erotic lingerie. Browse the fetish collection or find your passion among corsets, role-play costumes, or body stockings – all available at the premier adult store in Tampa – Everything Sexy 4 Play!

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Sexology 101

How to Discuss Sex With Your Partner

Let’s face it – talking about sex with your partner (or anyone for that matter) can be awkward. Not only are you uncomfortable talking to your friends about the subject, but it can be even harder to talk about sex with your partner because you worry what they’ll think. Will they laugh…be disgusted…how do you even bring it up…how do you talk about sex with your partner??

Take a deep breath. Yes – they might laugh or be surprised – but they also might be totally into it. They may have been waiting for you to raise the topic because they were also nervous and or uncomfortable. Many times our worst-case scenarios don’t happen and what could very well happen is a sexy conversation about your desires.

Embrace the awkward. This topic can be especially difficult if you’ve never discussed it before, but it gets a bit easier with time. Many sex educators even struggle to talk to their own partner(s) about sex.

Have the talk anyway. Swallow your pride and just dive right in. Talking about sex helps you have better sex and stronger relationships because when you do so you build intimacy by learning about each other’s deepest desires. You also give them permission to talk about these things with you. Lastly, you get new ideas. Maybe your partner wants to try something you never thought about before. In short, these conversations help you have a more intimate, adventurous, and satisfying sex life.

5 Ways To Talk To Your Partner About Sex

See, discussing sex doesn’t have to be so difficult – when you are ready to talk to your partner about sex, here are 5 ways to make the conversation easier.

  1. Use this blog post as a reason to start the discussion.Books and blogs are some of the best sex conversation starters. They are so easy to work in by saying, “Hey I was reading this thing today….” like you would any other interesting news.
  1. Talk about one topic at a time. Once you get started talking about sex, it’s easy to want to share everything at once. Don’t. Choose the one that is most important to you and only talk about that. There’s no right or wrong answer – it’s whatever you need to talk about the most.
  1. Know what to discuss when. There are things you talk about during sex and things you talk about once you’re clothes are back on and the blood has returned to your brain. If it’s not on this list, wait until you’re fully clothed to bring it up.
  • Ask permission.
  • Give guidance.
  • Express appreciation.
  • Check-in.
  • Give positive suggestions.
  • Talk dirty.
  • Share if something hurts or feels uncomfortable.
  1. Define what you mean. A lot of things done during sex can have multiple meanings that differ from its actual definition. So let your partner know exactly what you mean when you suggest something.
  1. Avoid yes or no questions. Nothing stops a sex conversation faster than “Have you heard of X?” Instead, try asking what they think about X and only then ask if they are interested in trying it. Let the conversation flow from there – if you don’t ask, you’ll never know!

We can’t promise your partner will be into the same desires as you or that feelings won’t get hurt, but we do know that your desires will never get fulfilled if you don’t take a chance and ask.