Sexology 101

Friends with Benefits: Can It Really Work?

Many people consider having FWB because they are single and time-poor, or maybe they’ve just come out of a long relationship and aren’t ready for commitment. Most people need a timeout after a long-term relationship before they start dating again or before they feel the need to enter into another serious relationship.

We believe that FWB relationships can work, but only under the following circumstances.

  1. Honesty is vital. Both parties must be honest with each other regarding what they want and expect from the arrangement.
  1. Communication must be ongoing. At some stage of any FBW relationship things can change. Passionate connections can grow and there’s a strong chance that over time either or both of you will want more from the relationship. So it’s important that ongoing communication regarding how each party feels is necessary.
  1. Rules and boundaries must be defined. Rules and boundaries should be defined in the very beginning to avoid future complications, especially since the absence of issues is often the main attraction for initially entering into a FWB relationship.
  1. Always practice safe sex. If the two of you agree that you won’t be sexually exclusive with each other, you need to practice sex safe to decrease the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.
  1. Be aware of the risks. While there are numerous risks associated with a FWB arrangement, the two most prominent ones would be that things won’t work out and you’ll ruin a great friendship and/or one of you will begin to have deeper feeling for the other and will get hurt when the relationship stalls at the FWB status.
  1. Acknowledge FWB relationships typically don’t last very long. When entering into this type of relationship, you’ll probably both agree that having casual sex with a trusted friend just couldn’t get any better. But over time things usually change as one may develop feelings for the other or find someone else that they want to be with. 
  1. Be aware that jealousy may become an issue. It’s human nature for someone to experience jealousy if their partner – FWB or otherwise – is either dating or having sex with someone else. Even if you’ve decided upfront that the prospect of sharing your ‘friend’ may not be entirely acceptable, it’s a necessary conversation to have.
  1. Don’t do it with a coworker. When the FWB relationship ends, there is typically some awkwardness, which means that you won’t be able to work together. In the unlikely event that the FWB arrangement progresses into a committed relationship, this can also be complicated if you’re coworkers.
  1. Only consider a FWB relationship with someone you typically wouldn’t fall in love with. While this should be the general rule of thumb, it doesn’t always work. In the best-case scenario, you need to be physically attracted to have sex with them. So it’s theoretically a fine line between the person you might consider for a FWB vs. a committed relationship.
  1. Explore your sexual horizons. Some couples in a committed relationship have a problem sharing their sexual fantasies due to fear of judgment or embarrassment. A FWB arrangement is a great way for both you and your FWB to explore taboo topics and experience the fantasies that you wouldn’t otherwise consider with a partner.

Friends with benefits can work, although it’s not for everyone and there’s certainly potential for complications to arise. So if you think you’ve got what it takes, go for it!


Sexology 101

Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship

When you’re in a long-term relationship, things can get too comfortable. Before you know it, you’re lounging in sweatpants from your college days every night and the last time you gave or got oral sex was probably right around the same time you bought those sweatpants.

Luckily, boosting your sex life is easier than ever before. With the enthusiasm to feel that excitement again – and a visit to your local adult store – these sex tips will take you back to the wild sex you probably didn’t even realize you were missing.

  1. Explore new positions. One of the easiest ruts to fall into when you’re in a long relationship is to find sex positions that seem to work for you, and then concentrate on just those. One of the easiest ways to spice things up is to try a new position. Try the Sex! Scratch Tickets for instant ideas, or check out one of our many sex games.
  1. Keep surprising each other. Sexy surprises are vital for keeping a long-term relationship from becoming stagnant. Even people who don’t necessarily like surprises can enjoy sexy ones. If you don’t generally sext, try sending your partner a discreet sexy photo or racy comment when it’s least expected. Another sexy surprise is to go about doing normal things around the house while either completely naked or wearing some revealing erotic lingerie.
  1. Do everything but have sex. People in long-term relationships typically fall into a routine, which often means skipping foreplay. To boost your sex life, bring back the foreplay and you just might find erogenous zones you didn’t even know existed. And don’t forget massage oils for sensual massages and rediscover each other, one touch at a time.
  1. Experiment with adult sex toys. If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are good that your partner knows about your adult sex toys; but if not, now is the time to introduce them by going shopping together. Try out a rabbit to delight her clitoris and for him, a c-Ring is a good introduction to enhancing sex with adult toys.  But for the ultimate sex toy for couples, it will be tough to find a more exciting experience than the one provided by the We Vibe 4 Plus, which now comes with an app that helps you create vibration playlists and even control the sensations remotely!
  1. Try a little role-play. With role-play, you can get as easy or as complicated as you want. Try pretending to be strangers, meeting for the first time at a bar, and tap into that powerful lust that makes new relationships so exciting. This is where costumes come into play…who doesn’t like a naughty schoolgirl? And be sure to check out our complete Fifty Shades of Grey line of props.
  1. Watch erotica together. Even if you’ve taken being comfortable together to another level, you might not have felt relaxed enough to watch erotic films together. One of the easiest and most fun ways for couples to break through their comfort zone is by watching an erotic film together. You’ll probably learn a few things about your partner and yourself in the process.

Give these tips a try – you never know what you might like – and you’ll really never know until you try!


Sexology 101

Which Male Sexual Fantasies Make the List?

Studies show that most men enjoy being visually stimulated, and many women prefer an emotional connection, but there are additional differences when it comes to male and female sexual fantasies.

Women are less likely to want their sexual fantasies to become reality when compared to men – a difference that can lead to misconceptions and problems between partners regarding their sexual desires.

In studies where men were questioned about their sexual fantasies, following were the top 10 responses.

Threesomes: For most heterosexual men, the number one fantasy is a threesome with two hot women who would pleasure not only him, but each other. Sometimes this fantasy involves their partner and another woman – but not always.

Observing Two Women: 
If a guy was invited to engage in sex with two women he most likely would, but without an invitation most guys are satisfied just watching two girls having sex. Lesbian porn is extremely popular, not just among lesbians but for heterosexual males as well. Two women having sex often includes them using sex toys together, which is a serious turn-on for men.

Anal Sex: 
While some men fantasize about receiving anal sex from a woman wearing a strap-on (pegging), most men fantasize about giving anal sex. Perhaps it’s popular because its deemed as being forbidden or it could be the submissive nature of a woman during anal sex. 

Oral Sex: 
Most men love the idea of receiving oral sex and many enjoy reciprocating. It turns out that most women really enjoy oral sex too, but reciprocation is typically expected.

Group Sex: 
Engaging in sex with multiple people at the same time is an extremely popular fantasy for many men. There are many websites and apps that help simplify the introduction of swinging couples and possible sex partners.

Domination or Submission: Men often fantasize about sexually dominating – or being dominated by – a woman. It’s very common for a man to want to use restraints such as rope, handcuffs or perhaps a blindfold or gag, leaving him free to do whatever he wants. Some men prefer a role reversal with them being the submissive partner.

Role-Play: Many men fantasize about their partner dressing up and role-playing characters such as a bad nurse, a mischievous French maid, a playful Playboy bunny, escort or stripper. This type of role-play is quite popular at swinger’s parties.

No-Strings-Attached Sex: 
 For many men, if they had an opportunity to have a no-strings-attached sexual encounter, they’d probably consider it. This is one of the reasons why sex with an arranged escort is such a popular fantasy for many men.

Exhibitionism, Public Sex and Voyeurism: It’s easy to understand the appeal of these fantasies. Perhaps they enjoy the attention or the perceived naughtiness of the act that makes it so appealing.

: Men have all sorts of common fetishes that they fantasize about including large breasts, attractive feet, women who squirt or those who enjoy bondage and discipline.

Sexual fantasies normal and healthy and can lead to better communication, trust, intimacy and satisfaction within a relationship. Don’t know what your partner’s fantasies are? Ask them! But try not to criticize them if they fantasize about something you might not agree with. Just explore and have fun!

Sexology 101

Sex Up Your Valentine’s Day This Year!

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, you’re probably trying to decide how to express your love for your significant other. Your decision depends not only on the length and depth of the relationship, but your personalities as well.

Is your partner deep into Valentine’s Day and all the traditional trimmings? Or is he/she going to be embarrassed by a super romantic gesture? Or, would he/she just like to spend the entire holiday in the bedroom?

Forget chocolate and flowers, this Valentine’s Day turn up the heat and get sensual. We’re sharing our top 10 tips to get you started.

  1. Play dress up…and take off. This is great for people who don’t get to dress up very often in their professional lives. You and your partner put on your sexiest outfits and enjoy a meal together – either at a restaurant or at home – and then have even more fun removing each other’s clothing.
  1. Bring out the blindfold. From the minute your partner enters the bedroom, have him/her undress then bring out the blindfold. If your partner is okay with it, use scarves to tie the hands and feet to the bedposts and give your partner the sensual body treatment of a lifetime. Slow down…play around.
  1. How about whips and chains (without the pain)? There are so many great whips and chains on the market today that can be extremely fun. Discuss it with your partner first if this is something you haven’t done before. Use whips teasingly to build sensual excitement and stimulation.
  1. Massage your partner. A simple treat surely, but highly effective for a reason. Get some quality massage oils and massage your partner from head to toe, including the feet, legs, back, butt, shoulders and even the head and neck.
  1. Cook up a little fun in the kitchen. Again, this seems a bit basic, but at the end of the day it’s a really grand gesture to have someone cook an entire meal, start to finish. Maybe it’s not considered to be a sensual gift for Valentine’s Day, but sexing it up over a kitchen counter following the meal would be the perfect nightcap.
  1. Go luxury. Everyone loves a little getaway, so why not take your partner to a luxurious hotel and pull out all the stops like room service, oversized Jacuzzi tub for two, flowers and your favorite beverages? You both can take full advantage of the mini-vacation you are taking in your own city.  And don’t forget to pack your toys and sexy lingerie!
  1. Shower power. Transform your bathroom into a place of luxury and pleasure. Set the mood with some wine and candles and then climb into the tub or shower together. Shower sex always rocks.
  1. Play a little game. There are some great games that include oral sex and other favors. So why not get one, have some cocktails and “play” around?
  1. Go “parking” like you did in your teens. Relive your teenage years and take your partner out to a beautiful lookout point in your city, then park the car and make out like you’re both 15 years old again.
  1. Forever foreplay. You want your partner to really be shocked by your sensual Valentine’s Day plan? Buy some new toys that you can both enjoy and act out each other’s fantasies and fetishes.

Cheers to a sassy, sexy and sensual Valentine’s Day!