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Sexology 101

Clit Clamps: A Beginner’s Guide Intensify even the slightest of sensations!

Created to arouse the most sensitive part of the body, clit clamps can be worn to enrich solo sex play, shared pleasure or to elevate sensitivity for superior sensation play!

Extremely versatile, these sex toys intensify even the slightest of sensations upon removal. But be sure to give yourself a few moments before applying any sort of stimulus!  How you choose to take advantage of the increased sensitivity is completely up to you – will it be punishment or pleasure?

Even gently blowing on the clit after clamping can have the wearer on the brink of climax. Most are ergonomic in design and incredibly easy to use. They squeeze that sensitive spot at either side to apply perfect pressure. With rubber -dipped grips for optimal comfort, they are designed with sadism and safety in mind!

Why Should You Try Clit Clamps?

Free your mind and experience pure pleasure. When pressure is applied to the clit, the body reacts as if it is in pain by releasing a flood of endorphins. These endorphins have a similar effect as morphine and codeine. The end result is an intense sensation that is slightly similar to ‘runner’s high’. At times it’s so extreme that it can lead to an altered and euphoric state of consciousness.

Add a pinch of nerve stimulation to your play. Attaching a clit clamp stimulates the major nerve that supplies the genitals, increasing blood flow and causing the clitoris and surrounding area to become puffed-up. In reaction, the body releases adrenaline, which causes that sensitive spot to swell even more. Applying more pressure at the point of climax will make it even more explosive.

Get a rush from increased sensitivity. When the clamp is removed, all of the blood quickly rushes back to the clitoris, which in itself is supremely satisfying. It also makes the area extremely sensitive, magnifying every single touch, stroke, lick and kiss.

Add a little bling to your thing. In addition to feeling amazing and delivering an unequaled orgasmic experience, they are also designed to look great. Adorn with jewels and clips to add a little beauty to your antics. Or get that perfect pierced look without permanently disfiguring your sensitive spot.

Squeeze in some time for supreme satisfaction. Add a pinch of BDSM to your play with clit clamps and you won’t regret it. Allowing a partner to have complete control over your sensations is extremely gratifying. This is what is basically happening when you give someone permission to clamp your clit. It inspires feelings of amazing anticipation and enables bottoms to completely relax into their experience.

An emotional experience that will drive you wild. This sort of play tugs on the heartstrings as well as the clitoris. For two people to play with clamps requires a great deal of trust. Boundaries are pushed but must never be disregarded. It is incredibly symbolic and can strengthen the way you feel about one another. Watching each other in these new roles is also extremely exciting and will activate intense psychological responses in the brain.

Dos and Don’ts of Clit Clamps

Do

  • Remove the clamp immediately if you notice any skin discoloration, swelling or a temperature drop
  • Check the area every few minutes to ensure optimum circulation
  • Start light and gradually increase pressure
  • Use water-based lube to enhance sensation and reduce chafing
  • Test your clamp on a less sensitive part of the body before applying to the clit
  • Remove slowly and extremely carefully

Don’t

  • Leave a clamp on for longer than 10-15 minutes
  • Apply stimulus immediately after removal – allow a couple of moments to become accustomed to the intensity
  • Use lube when removing the clamp – it can cause it to slip and clamp back down on the skin

If you have any questions regarding how to use clit clamps or need help choosing one, our expert staff is here to help! We have the best sex toys, fetish toys and any other adult products. Stop by the best adult store Tampa today to see our complete selection of adult toysadult apparel (including a wide variety of lingerie and dancewear), adult gamesadult furniture, and more!

And be sure to keep checking back because we’re always adding items to our product line!

 

 

 

 

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Sexology 101

A Hands-On Guide to Female Masturbation

While it may be hard for some to comprehend, plenty of women have reached adulthood without mastering female masturbation techniques that actually work for them. If you’re one of them, relax…because it’s okay to have no idea what you’re doing.

Men – on the other hand – are born feeling that when they touch their penis, they enjoy it and that’s that. Women have a whole different scenario down there that can be a lot harder to figure out.

So let’s dive right in and get to the bottom of this sometimes-mysterious act of self-satisfaction.

Don’t masturbate like it’s do or die.

Make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed or be interrupted. If you only have five minutes or you’ve set aside a day like you need to get this figured out, odds are you’re going to be too stressed to allow the kind of no-pressure chill you should ideally feel when you’re masturbating (at least in the beginning). So shut your phone off, put on some sensual music and take your time.

Don’t hesitate to use some lube during female masturbation.

We recommend using a quarter-size amount of lube on your index and middle fingers, and gently massaging it around your clitoris (the little button-shaped thing at the top of your vagina) and inner labia (the folds inside the larger folds that make up the better part of your vagina). Even though you might think you have enough natural vaginal lubrication to begin with, some women don’t and extra lube will make the experience a lot more comfortable.

You don’t have to focus only on the vagina.

Try including nipple stimulation during masturbation, or grabbing your butt or upper thighs, just to see if that feels good to you. Part of the masturbation experience is just to get a sense of where you’re the most sensitive and what kind of touch feels best to you. Also, by finding the areas on other parts of your body that make you feel really good, you’re boosting your arousal, which will make touch feel different (and probably better), which is always great.

Don’t feel like you have to begin by pounding your clit during female masturbation.

Try some more low-key playful touching, like running your fingers along your inner labia and along the sides of your clitoris, all the way down toward the entrance of your vagina. It’s a good starting point to get the blood flowing down there, which helps increase pleasure and arousal. And you’re also getting a feel for what you like and you can always keep repeating whatever works best.

Use a vibrator – but you don’t have to start with it.

While you might have a better success rate using a sex toy, using your hands in the beginning can be a great way to explore and learn about your body. Also, it’s also more comparable to the sensations caused by a partner’s hands, so if you have any interest in sex with a partner, it’ll help you transition from one scenario to the other more smoothly, and give your partner an idea of about how you like to be touched.

If you need visual aids, get them.

The biggest sex organ is between the ears, so engage your brain during masturbation. Remember sexy times from your past, check out arousing online images or read erotica. Whatever you need to do, stoke that fire!

Need step-by-step directions for female masturbation?

As a sample starter move, slide a finger between your lips to open things up and then get a little lube on your fingertips if more smoothness would feel good. Tease yourself by sliding your fingers back and forth from your vaginal opening to your clit without going inside. Try one finger at a time and then slide a couple fingers into your vagina, curling them slightly. Try using circular motions around the clitoris, rather than back-and-forth straight strokes, making the circles as tight or as wide as you like to vary intensity. This is a particularly good move if you find direct contact with your clitoris is too sensitive and also makes it easier to maintain rhythm when you need it most.

Use penetration if it feels right for you.

Some women don’t like to use penetration when they’re masturbating, but if you want to test it, try slowly (or quickly if you prefer) by moving your fingers in and out while you continue to stimulate your clitoris. You can also just move your fingers in and out without touching the clitoris – basically, you’re just feeling around to determine what you like so you can do more of it!

You don’t have to stay on your back.

While some like to life their legs as high as possible to help reach the internal parts of the clitoris, try turning on your stomach to see if that feels good to you. It’s harder to reach in that position, but some really love it, so why not give it a try?

Now go forth with your female masturbation…you’re ready!

Read: How to Masturbate (Women)

How to Find and Stimulate the P-Spot For many, prostate stimulation is a source of deep sexual pleasure!

So what exactly is the “P-Spot”? It’s the prostate gland that is located in the middle of the pelvis and produces part of the fluid that comes out when a man ejaculates. You can’t touch the prostate directly, but it is possible to stimulate it indirectly, internally via anal stimulation and externally by massage. So how do you find and stimulate the p-spot?

Not all people with prostates enjoy having it stimulated.  Like the g-spot, or any other part of the body, some people will find stimulation arousing, others will find it boring and some may even find it painful. But for many the prostate is a source of deep sexual pleasure.

Following are our top tips if you want to learn how to find and stimulate the p-spot.

Wash up and relax.

When it comes to putting anything up in an anus, a common concern and hesitation is about the possibility of coming into contact with feces. Having a warm bath or hot shower may help alleviate anxiety about this. It also helps to relax, which is an important state to be in for any sex play. A bath or shower can also be a great place to explore your own or your partner’s body.

Smooth out the rough edges.

The lining of the anus is very sensitive and can be torn easily. Make sure your nails are short and smooth.  If you’re playing with sex toys, make sure they are safe for anal penetration.

Turn yourself on.

Because the prostate swells when aroused, it’s easier to find when you’re hot and bothered. Watch an adult movie, masturbate, fantasize…whatever gets you in the mood.

Get comfortable before you stimulate the p-spot.

If you are exploring on your own, find a position you are most comfortable in where you have access to your bum. Try lying on your side or squatting. Sitting in a comfortable chair might work, or lie on your back with your legs in the air. Using sex furniture can help you get comfortable.

From the outside in.

You never want to rush the penetration part of anal play. Start with an external massage using massage oils and perhaps a finger massager. The perineum is located between the scrotum and the anus. Many people find that massaging the perineum is relaxing and pleasurable. You probably won’t be able to feel the prostate with your fingers while massaging the perineum, but you are actually stimulating it indirectly.

Go on in to stimulate the p-spot.

When you are ready to insert a finger in the anus, try to tune into your breath. You can use conscious breathing techniques to deepen your awareness of physical responses. Make sure you have lots of lubricant on hand, literally and figuratively. The best way to insert a finger in the anus is to start with the pad of your finger first (not the tip). Gently put the pad of one finger up to the opening of the anus and leave it there while you breath. When you are exhaling, push out as if you’re trying to go to the bathroom and you should feel your sphincter muscles relax a bit and your finger should be able to slide in. Once inside, rest a moment while you get used to the sensation of having something in your anus.

Finding the prostate.

You should be able to feel the prostate about two inches in and toward your belly. It is often a walnut-shaped bump. Some men will know when they are touching it, others won’t notice much at all. It can be easier to have someone else find it for you.

Experiment with different kinds of touch to stimulate the p-spot.

Once you’ve found the prostate, you can experiment with what feels good. Some people like the feeling of consistent pressure, while others prefer vibration or an on-off kind of pressure. You can also experiment by squeezing your PC muscle and see how that changes the feeling.

Using sex toys.

Anal sex toys can be a great way to explore prostate stimulation. Toys that have a slight curve are often designed for prostate stimulation. Some toys will vibrate, which is a completely different kind of sensation that some guys like and others don’t. If you’re going to try a vibrator, be sure to get one with variable speed, so you can start slow if you want to.

Butt plugs are anal toys designed to be inserted in the anus and stay in place. Some guys will put in a butt plug and then have other kinds of sex play (either masturbation or play with partners). Many say that having a butt plug in provides a mild but constant prostate stimulation abd really changes the way that their orgasms feel.

Questions about how to stimulate the p-spot? Come by and let our expert staff answer your questions and show you how you can boost your sassy sex life. Stop by the best adult store Tampa today to see our complete selection of adult toysadult apparel (including a wide variety of lingerie and dancewear), adult gamesadult furniture, and more!

 

 

How to Peg Your Man for the First Time It's not something you should rush into.

There’s so much swag and accessories that goes along with pegging, it’s easy to skip past all the stuff you need to know in order to deal with how to try pegging and go straight for the shopping trips to get ready to peg your man for the first time. While the shopping is all well and good, there are 5 things you should know about your adventure into the wonderful world of pegging. We’re hoping to make your journey enjoyable for all parties involved.

Create a plan of action to peg your man.

So, your boyfriend casually mentions that he wants to try pegging. Here’s what NOT to do.  Do not go out, buy the biggest strap-on dildo you can find and then stick it right up his bottom. Casually mentioning a desire to explore – and actually following through with it – are very, very different things. Before the two of you start pegging, you need to talk.

Find out how much knowledge and experience he has, if any at all. Talk about any concerns or insecurities that might accompany his desire to be pegged. You might feel insecure when asked to peg your man, believing that they aren’t satisfying their partner. But the pleasure men experience from prostate stimulation is simply different than what they enjoy from standard intercourse. Getting these conversations out of the way before you get started will make you both more comfortable and happy going in. Set up a plan of action going forward – schedule a trip to shop together, and to set up different sessions to explore pegging.

Start small.

Unless your man has a lot of experience with pegging, you will want to start off with a butt plug, toy or finger that is on the smaller size. Also remember it must have a flared base, where it’s wider at the top than where it goes in or it will easily just be swallowed alive. If this is the first time your partner has ever had anything put inside his butt, it’s a dangerous idea to leap straight to a full pegging. It’s dangerous for him because it can be painful, and it’s dangerous for you because you don’t know how much speed and force to use without causing your partner pain or tearing.

Before you step into your newly acquired strap-on dildo, work your way up, starting with some humble play to help prepare him for what’s to come. It will also give YOU a great anatomy lesson. Using your fingers to explore inside him until you find the prostate and learning to stimulate it will be great knowledge to have when you actually peg your man.

Lube it up – always – before you peg your man.

When you are in the heat of the moment, it is easy to forget lube; plus, if your partner seems open, you might think he doesn’t need lube at all. When it comes to pegging – or any kind of anal sex – the more lube, the better.  The human anus has not one, but TWO sets of sphincters.  There are the sphincters we can see externally, and then a second set deeper inside the anus.

Using lube makes your initial penetration through both sets of sphincters that much easier while creating a hot sense of friction.  Just make sure the kind of lube you have purchased is compatible with your toys. The silicone based lube you have for your own playtime won’t work with your all of your toys – we suggest buying specialty water-based lube to use with toys only. That prevents the toy’s material from breaking down and potentially leaking chemicals into his body or yours.

Talk dirty.

Pegging isn’t just the act of penetrating a man with a with a strap-on dildo – it’s an entire sexual experience. Men love pegging because of the stimulation it gives to their prostate, but some men also love the role reversal that takes place when it’s a woman doing the work. It goes to follow then, that you should make the most of that role reversal. You’re dominating him when you’re pegging him, so dominate him with your dirty talk too! Test the waters by asking him if he likes the way something feels – you won’t know until you try.  But don’t force it – if dirty talk while you peg isn’t for you, don’t pretend that it is.

Keep it clean when you peg your man.

You can be very dirty together and still remain hygienic. No toys that have been in his butt should ever go in your vagina unless they have been properly cleaned. Any bacteria that is picked up from the anus could be harmful to the vagina.

It’s also a good idea for him to anally douche with water before you begin to peg your man so that you have a fresh butthole to enjoy. Also, please remember to clean your sex toys before using them the first time, too! Fresh out of the package doesn’t always mean the thing is actually fresh. Safe is so much better than sorry, and if you do it right, you can turn your pre-washing of sex toys into a hot little foreplay game.

Ready to peg your man for the first time? Stop by the best adult products store in Tampa for adult toys, including strap-ons, vibrators and fetish toys. Our adult apparel line includes an extensive selection of lingerie, dancewear, shoes and costumes and much more!

Need some more dom/sub ideas? Check out our blog!

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Sexology 101

Dom Sub Tampa: Your Questions Answered! Our Christmas gift to you!

We are getting asked an increasing number of questions regarding <a href=’https://www.everythingsexy4play.com/sexology-101/7-bdsm-tips-for-total-beginners/>Dom Sub Tampa relationships, so today we thought we’d share the most common ones.

Why do couples prefer Dom/sub relationships?

Dom Sub Tampa is one aspect of the wider category of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadomasochism), also referred to as kink. Some people are into all of the things listed under BDSM, and some only a couple of them. Dom Sub is generally distinguished from SM because it is more about power than about physical sensation.

Of course it is pretty common for sex and power to be combined in our culture. For example, a lot of romance fiction involves people being rescued from peril or being swept away by somebody more powerful, and a lot of people fantasize about having the power of being desirable to their partner.

What is involved in a Dom/sub relationship Tampa?

If somebody identifies as being in a Dom Sub relationship, they probably include power play in their sex life. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch, which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive. Some people stick to the same roles each time they play, or they may assume different roles on different occasions.

For most people, being Dom Sub will be something that they only do some of the time but not always. Such scenes could involve any kind of switch of power. Some people have lifestyle or 24/7 arrangements, where one person always takes the dominant, and the other takes on the submissive role.

Why do so many people have misconceptions of Dom Sub Tampa?

The media portrayal of BDSM has tended to be very negative, often associating it with violence, danger, abuse, madness and criminality. Research has shown that people who are into BDSM are actually no different from others in terms of emotional wellbeing or upbringing.

Often the media focuses on the most extreme examples, such as very heavy and/or 24/7 Dom Sub arrangements, rather than the more common relationships where there are elements of Dom Sub.

How do couples go about beginning a Dom Sub relationship in Tampa?

A good idea for all people in relationships, whether or not they are interested in Dom Sub Tampa, is to communicate about what they like sexually early on, and more broadly about what roles they like to take in the relationship.

For example, one good activity is to create a list as a couple of all of the sexual practices that either of you is aware of, and then to go down it writing ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘maybe’ about whether it is something that interests you, and sharing your thoughts. It can also be good to share sexual fantasies or favorite images/stories and to talk about whether (and, if so, how) they might be incorporated into your sex life.

It is very important that people only do things that they really want to try (rather than feeling pressured into certain activities) and that it is accepted that there will likely to be areas that aren’t compatible as well as those that are.

Some people have a Dom Sub relationship outside of an existing relationship – how can this affect a relationship?

Although it isn’t always out in the open, many couples have arrangements where they are open to some extent, such as open relationships, swinging, and ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ agreements.

Having different sexual desires is one reason why some couples open up their relationship to one or both of them being sexual with another person. If this desire is communicated clearly, kindly and thoughtfully, it can work perfectly well.

In regards to the hit book 50 Shades of Grey, many husbands have bought this for their wives and girlfriends – does it help?

One of the good things about 50 Shades of Grey is that it has opened up this kind of conversation for many people. However, it is important not to assume that the only form of BDSM is the one described in the book. In a heterosexual couple it may well be that the woman is more dominant, for example, or that both people switch roles, and the things that they enjoy may well be different to the ones which Ana and Christian engage in.

Ready to get started in your Dom Sub relationship in Tampa? Stop by the best adult store in Tampa today and we’ll show you our complete line of Fifty Shades of Grey fetish toys and accessories! And don’t forget to check out our complete line of adult products such as adult toyslingerie, sex furniture, sex games and more! Our expert, discreet female staff is here to help!

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Sexology 101

8 Things Every Woman Should Know Before Trying Kink Ladies, let your freak flag fly!

Kinky sex can be a bit intimidating because it includes everything from bondage to BDSM and role-play. Fortunately, you don’t have to jump into a life of sadomasochism to try out kink.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone in the bedroom can be difficult and, for women, sometimes even harder. After all, letting your sexual freak flag fly isn’t part of your average girlhood experience.

But, never fear – trying new things is natural to a person’s sexual development. We’re always growing and changing. You don’t reach the end of your sexual development unless you forget to keep going or you put an artificial limit on it.

So, if you’re new to kinky play and don’t know where to start, read our handy tips before your next sexual escapade.

  1. Kinky sex is different for everyone.  It’s a form of playing and is everything that falls outside of the confines of having sex simply to orgasm, which means it can take many different forms. Kink is an umbrella term that includes everything from sadomasochism (SM) to bondage, fantasy, sensation and toy play.  To bring it back down a notch, sometimes simply bringing a vibrator into your sex life with a partner can be kinky.
  2. Communication, trust and consent are key. Communication is key for any sexual activity, but it’s even more important when stepping outside of your comfort zone. You should always have a full conversation with your partner about what you are and aren’t comfortable with. If you don’t take care of your inhibitions or your worries beforehand, then you probably won’t have a very good experience. If you’re going to try this with your partner, you still have to communicate what your limits are and how you will express those limits.
  3. Make sure you set boundaries before you get started. If someone’s tying you up, you’ll probably want to be on the same page beforehand. Setting ground rules and boundaries (such as agreeing on a safe word) will be the difference between kink working and not working for you.
  4. Do your research. Get some sort of masturbation material and find out what your fantasies are. It will really guide you in the right direction of getting what you want and finding out what you need in order to get what you want. Talk to your friends. Talk to your partner. If you’re still not ready to talk about it, pick up a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey.
  5. Start out small. Most beginners aren’t going to dive into a 24/7 lifestyle of sadomasochism and that’s just fine. Start by buying a vibrator (if you don’t own one already). Talk to your partner about using sex toys together. Explore your own fantasies.
  6. For kink, sex toys are quite literally all around you.  A wooden spoon works very well as a paddle. We don’t suggest using scarves or neck ties as restraints because they’re slick and they can tighten more than it’s safe. A proper set of restraints is a really good idea.  As for that wooden spoon, striking somebody means you have to know a little bit about where it’s ok to strike someone, so, again, do your research.
  7. You probably won’t hit it out of the park on your first try, and that’s okay.  Like most other experiences, kinky takes practice. You’ll get better at it the more you do it.  The more communicating you do the better you’ll get at whatever you choose to try. And the more you practice this kind of sex play, the more you’ll learn about yourself and the better you’ll be at it. Don’t expect great things the very first time.
  8. Variety is the spice of life. Trying out new things is essential to a healthy and enjoyable sex life. You don’t have to become a full-blown dominatrix, but getting out of your comfort zone (in a safe and consensual way) is really important.  Stepping outside of any ruts or boxes you find yourself in just gives yourself a chance to find something new that you like.It’s summer…step out of your sexual comfort zone and let your kink flag fly, ladies!
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Sexology 101

What Does a Man’s Zodiac Sign Say About His Sexual Fetish?

Since astrology maintains that our personalities are influenced by the stars, it only stands to reason that our sexual proclivities would also be affected by our zodiac sign.

If you’re in a sexual relationship, and are looking to spice things up in the bedroom, it may be time to take your partner’s sign into consideration. Read on to see what your significant other’s sign says about their preferences and kinks, and then consider whether or not you would be into experimenting with him.

Aquarians tend to dig on a little bit of voyeurism. If he’s allowed to feel like a bit of a sexual interloper, his blood will definitely get pumping. Perhaps let him watch from across the room as you get busy with yourself, or undress as though you’re unaware of his presence.

Pisces are ruled by the feet, and while that does NOT automatically indicate a full-blown foot fetish, keeping (only) your high heels on during foreplay, or massaging his feet are definitely tricks to piquing his sexual interests.

Taurus is a very visual sign, so anything that allows him to drink you up, visually, is a definite plus. Go all out on some sassy lingerie and then perform a little striptease for him.

Aries guys often crave more exciting intercourse, so partaking in quickies in unusual locations will definitely spark his sexual fire. Even a quick round of car sex can satisfy his craving for more unusual sexual dalliances.

Geminis are big communicators, and known for being quite talkative. A Gemini guy will therefore greatly appreciate a little extra naughty communication in bed. So if you’re with a Gemini, be loud and proud with your dirty talk.

Cancers appreciate intimacy, so a lewd quickie is probably not going to cut it for him. However, that doesn’t mean you need to resort to the boring old missionary position, either. Try the spooning position – it’ll give you plenty of intimacy, along with some actual G-spot stimulation.

Leos like to be teased just a little bit. With a Leo guy, it’s all about the long game. If you know you’ll be seeing him in the evening, try sending him salacious texts at various points in the day. The anticipation will make the evening explosive.

Virgos ideal night probably involves a marathon sex session. Set aside an evening where neither one of you needs to get up early, and designate the entire evening to foreplay.

Libras – with their love for all things beautiful – have an affinity for the natural light that accompanies morning sex. If you’re with a Libra, there’s a good chance that he’ll be eager to have sex once the alarm goes off.

Scorpios are known for their intensity, so race-to-the-finish-line sex is not their cup of tea. A Scorpio guy wants slow-burn sex – the kind where you get up intermittently during foreplay and go eat, or talk, or take a walk. It may sound crazy, but he’ll love relishing in the sexual tension all evening.

Sagittarius is all about spontaneity. For him, exciting sex is the best sex, and the most exciting sex is the surprise variety. If you’re watching TV together, perhaps lean over and start going down on him. The more you keep him on his toes, the more enamored he will be.

Capricorns – ruled by the teeth – are the most open to the idea of incorporating food into foreplay. Whether it’s feeding each other, or licking each other, adding some edibles into the mix will heighten their senses and their sex drive.

Give it a try…you never know…his fetish may very well become yours too.

Check out our follow up article on The 9 most common sexual fetishes!

 

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Labor Day: Time for Some Hot End-of-Summer Sex!

Labor Day weekend is essentially a going-away party for summer. And just like any goodbye, there are some seriously mixed emotions involved. Some will welcome it with open arms, excited for the coming days of sweaters, scarves, and pumpkin spice lattes, others will mourn the loss of beach days and barbecues. Whichever group you fall into, one thing’s for certain – it’s time to have some very hot end-of-summer sex.

It’s a little tradition we have as a country to cram all the summer experiences we can’t leave behind into one action-packed three-day weekend. So in addition to the barbecues, weekend getaways, hotel stays – and much-needed staycations – here are a few sexual experiences to help you make the most of the last weekend of summer.

  1. Get Busy Outside: Why waste your weekend indoors when you have fall and winter for that? Outdoor sex is actually a common fantasy, and the change of locale (for some, paired with the fear of being caught) can add a sexy adrenaline rush. Plus, getting busy outdoors forces you to break from your routine and adapt to your new surroundings. Take advantage of the warm weather while we still have it and go camping, take a hike, or find a secluded beach and hook up in some fresh air.
  1. Park the Car: Road trips are a staple of summer fun and remind us of being young and carefree. Sex acts of any kind in a moving vehicle are an absolute no-no, but if you’re cruising with your partner and a sexy thought crosses your mind, pull over. When you stop somewhere private, slowly let your hand creep up your partner’s leg, or place his hand on your leg. Plant a few kisses on his neck and he’ll definitely get the idea. Once the teasing gets too much, kill the engine, recline the passenger seat, and, you know the rest.
  1. Take a Dip: While oceans, lakes, and swimming pools may seem like the perfect place to sneak in a quickie, fully submerged sex puts you at risk for all kinds of infections, not to mention that the water can wash away your natural lubrication. For a risk-free but equally sexy water experience, head to your shower with your favorite waterproof toys. It’s the perfect spot because the limited space requires you to get creative with your sex positions, there’s no cleanup, and cool water actually heats up your sex drive by stimulating circulation. Finish it off with a relaxing massage!
  1. Foreplay All Day: Part of the appeal of a long weekend is that it gives you plenty of time to extend your pleasure and get the most out of every sexual act. You know those delicious moments leading up to sex? Imagine if you could prolong all that sexual tension for as much time as you want. Remove one sense, like sight for example, to heighten all the others and put you into sensual overdrive. Bring a blindfold into the mix to really turn up the sizzle. Take turns touching each other until you’re both so hot, there’s nothing left to do but get it on.
  1. Cross at Least One Thing Off Your Sexual Bucket List: Whether it’s a change of locale, a new sex position, or a kinky role-play scenario, take advantage of this long weekend to mix things up and explore uncharted territory in your sex life. If there’s something you have always wanted to try, now is your chance to suggest something sexier than dinner and a movie.

Go forth and have the sexiest Labor Day ever!

Categories
Sexology 101

Polyamorous Relationships: Dos and Don’ts

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships where individuals may have more than one partner, with the knowledge and consent of all partners.

Polyamory adds a significant layer of complexity atop the already complex job of managing a romantic relationship. Building good poly relationships doesn’t happen by accident; in addition to the normal challenges anyone in a traditional relationship will face, polyamory offers a few challenges of its own.

This is a simple guide to some of the dos and don’ts of polyamorous relationships. Of course, you’ll need the relationship skills that go along with any intimate interpersonal relationship as well!

Don’t keep score. Often, we may be tempted to try to turn multiple relationships into a tallying game. Fairness and compassion are worthwhile goals in any relationship, but as anyone knows, sometimes things don’t work exactly the way we expect them to.

Do understand that your needs have nothing directly to do with your partner’s other partner. Not everyone has the same needs, and happiness is found more easily in having your needs met than in having the same things as the people around you.

Don’t assume that polyamory will solve problems in your relationship. It can be a very potent and rewarding way to improve a good relationship, but it will expose the problems in a relationship, as well. It’s definitely not a good way to mend a damaged relationship.

Do pay attention to the state of a prospective partner’s existing relationships. If you are considering joining a person who is already in a relationship, take a good look at that relationship. If your partner can’t manage the problems in his or her existing relationship, your partner may not be able to manage any problems in yours.

Don’t take sides. There may be occasions when your partners have a disagreement. Regardless of how much you may or may not be able to help, it’s important not to take sides; a situation where one person feels ganged up on is destructive for everybody.

Do strive to be flexible. Many of the problems in polyamorous relationships stem from resource management. Flexibility and creativity can sometimes go a long way toward solving these problems.

Don’t assume the problem is polyamory.  Even traditional monogamous relationships can have problems with resource allocation, and even issues that may seem at first glance to be directly related to polyamory—jealousy, for instance—might still exist even in a monogamous relationship.

Do pay attention to the way you relate to your partner’s partners. Sometimes, your partner may love someone you yourself would not really choose to associate with. In times like that, it’s helpful to recognize that you are in a relationship with that person, even though your relationship may be indirect.

Don’t make assumptions about your relationship with your partner’s other partners. Sometimes, people may assume that anyone who is interested in a sexual relationship with their partner is also interested in a sexual relationship with them. It’s hard enough to find someone who is compatible with you, and it’s harder still to find someone who is compatible with both you and your partner.

Don’t assume polyamory makes you more enlightened. If you believe that you are better, more enlightened, or wiser because of your preferred relationship model, you may end up behaving carelessly.

Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s other relationships. When your lover takes another lover, it’s sometimes easy to make assumptions about the direction that relationship will take, or what they’re doing or experiencing together. Keeping a realistic assessment of your partner’s other relationships.

Do know what place you have to offer someone. It’s important that you know what it is you have to offer that new partner, and seek to provide a safe and secure space for that relationship to grow.

So do you have what it takes to be polyamorous?

 

Categories
Sexology 101

Your Anal Sex Questions Answered!

Maybe you’ve always wanted to try it but feel nervous about taking the plunge. Or maybe anal is already part of your sex routine and you’re looking for tips to make it even hotter. Or maybe you’re just curious to know what backdoor sex is really like.

Whether you’re an anal virgin or a die-hard fan, you’ll want to keep reading because we’re answering the most common questions and offering some tips.

Isn’t it Kind of…Gross?

The biggest misconception about anal sex is that it’s disgusting and dirty. For some people, that can be true. But everyone should know anal sex can be an extremely erotic, exciting activity. If you’re willing to try it, you might find it an unexpectedly fun addition to your sexual repertoire.

But Does It Hurt?

Research suggests that pain is common, especially in the beginning. But with adequate relaxation and arousal, it should feel good for both parties. If you find insertion painful or difficult, stop and go back to the drawing board.

How Do I Get Started?

The most important thing is feeling comfortable—you can even wash beforehand if that will help. Then it’s all about starting slowly. You can begin with inserting a finger first and using lube to get comfortable with the pressure in your rectum.

Beginner’s Tip: Try Solo Play First

Your two sphincter muscles are not only essential to anal health but also to pleasure. These ring-like structures control what goes in and out of your butt, so you need to become familiar with their functioning and learn to exercise control over them.

Beginner’s Tip: Breathe Deeply

Holding your breath interferes with muscle relaxation, which is essential to anal sex. As you breathe deeply, your inner sphincter muscle will relax to facilitate penetration.

Beginner’s Tip: Use Lube

Most people prefer silicone-based lube for anal sex. But no matter what type you choose, lube is a non-negotiable when it comes to anal play.

Pro Tip: Double Your Pleasure

If you have a vagina and a clit, use them. Insert a toy into your vagina during anal in order to press against the little space along the lower/back wall of your vagina, between the cervix and the vaginal wall. Some women attribute orgasm from anal sex to this hot spot.

Pro Tip: Try the “Lap Dance” Position

The penetrative partner sits on a chair, and their partner stands over them as though they’re giving a lap dance. This not only provides a sexy view, but it also allows the standing partner to exercise total control.

Pro Tip: Incorporate Some Toys

If you really want to amp up the sensation, play with a sex accessory, like a vibrating penis ring.

No Matter What, Always Be Safe

The anus is sensitive and prone to tearing and infection, so be sure to practice safer sex with lube and condoms. It’s also important not to cross-contaminate – you never want to put an object in your bum and then back into your vagina.

If you’re not into anal sex, that’s okay too – you don’t have to create a sexual bucket list and cross off every item in order to enjoy a fulfilling sex life—you simply need to keep an open mind.