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Sexology 101

What Makes Sex Great?

People always seem to be in search of great sex. Magazine and blogs are filled with articles detailing the supposedly few simple things that people can do to make it happen. And sometimes these sex tips are promoted as if there is some secret information that can be shared and you will magically start having great sex. The problem is that the idea of great sex is subjective and changes from person to person.

While we’re all unique, there are some common feelings as to what constitutes great sex. Is the length and intensity of the orgasm, or could it be the number of orgasms that defines great sex?

Maybe great sex relates to how much we’re turned on. Or maybe it’s because of the spontaneity factor, the break from the normal routine or the fact that you’re having it with a new partner that makes it so good. So what makes great sex great?

It all starts with passion, desire and enthusiasm! If you’re ‘into’ someone (whether it’s love, lust or simply infatuation) and you’re turned on, then you’re on your way towards great sex. But it all needs to start with passion that is similar to youthful exuberance.

Unlike men, women typically need an emotional connection in order for them to enjoy great sex. Without an emotional connection, it simply comes down to lust, and at times that’s simply not enough. Sure most of us have probably had great sex with a stranger, a one-night stand or a friend with benefits, but this is not the norm.

Sometimes the first few times a couple has sex it can be uncomfortable or even awkward. And it’s not because they’re not turned on; it’s usually because they’re trying too hard. In some cases, one or both partners aren’t aware of what really turns their partner on or what leaves them quivering in ecstasy.

With time and communication (both verbally and with body language), they learn what the other needs for maximum sexual pleasure. Many couples find that the ability for great sex increases as the relationship matures.

Think of it like fine wine. Over time, and in the right conditions some wines get better after a few years. Unfortunately, however, it can plateau over time and from there it’s all downhill. There’s not much you can do when this starts happening to the wine you’ve had in your cellar for a few years other than quickly drink it, give it away or watch it depreciate even more. Fortunately when your sex life hits a plateau, you can stop the decline and get it back on track to the point of once again being great.

Can you have great sex alone with masturbation or using sex toys? Absolutely! In fact, sometimes it’s just what’s needed. Can sex be great sex without actual penetration? Sure! Oral sex, sexless sex and mutual masturbation can all be great sex!

The bottom line is that there are no rules as to what defines great sex. You and your partner just have to explore and experience your way to ecstasy!

 

 

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Sexology 101

Tips for First Time Sex With A New Partner

Suppose you’ve been out on a few dates together and you both agree to go back to either’s home with the intent of sex hanging in the air. How do you handle what could be a delicate situation?

So how do you ensure your first sexual experience with your new partner goes well? By following a few basic principles.

Relax! You both need to accept that it’s probably going to be awkward from the start so try to. Try to go with the flow rather than having a set plan of how you’re hoping or expecting the event to proceed.

Entice the 6 senses to create arousal. This is where sight, sound, touch, taste, smell and humor can make or break the mood. Now is the time to explore each other’s bodies with a lot of touching and tasting.

Be confident! Confidence makes a person look and feel sexier! Make a point of undressing each other slowly and admiring each other’s bodies. While you might want to tear each other’s clothes off it’s usually better to let the anticipation build.

No pressure. Men in particular need to ensure they don’t put any pressure on a woman to have sex. She will only want to when she’s ready. Women generally have the power at this juncture and a man just has to run with it rather than try to force or coerce her to have sex.

Pay attention to body language. It’s important to read signs before, during and after your first time together. Don’t try to over analyze the situation and make each other feel great afterwards.

Ask questions. The age old adage that it’s better to ask for permission rather than forgiveness rings true when you’re exploring each other’s body and turn-ons for the first time.

Lower your expectations. If you’re hoping for amazing sex then you could be setting yourself, or both of you, up for a serious disappointment! No one usually performs like a porn star the first time you have sex.

Forget about your dungeon or kinks you may have. The first time isn’t the time to start bragging about how you have a dungeon in your spare room or that you love partner swapping and threesomes.

Don’t bring out the sex toys. To be safe I think it’s better to forget the sex toys until you get to know each other better in the bedroom.

Don’t leave right after you orgasm. By all means get up to wash off but try to bask in the glory of your first naked experience together.

Have safe sex. If a couple hasn’t had sex before, they need to discuss what form of contraceptive they will use to avoid unwanted pregnancies and they need to use condoms unless.

Contact them the next day. No one likes game playing or feeling like it didn’t mean something when they’ve just had sex with a new partner. You need to let them know how much you enjoyed it and how you’d like to see them again soon.

We’ve probably all had a few first time sexual encounters that haven’t gone too well. That’s fine, however we all need to remember that sex with a partner usually always gets better over time.

 

 

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Sexology 101

The Fascination with Restraints

While the sale of sex toys skyrocketed in the months following the release of 50 Shades of Grey, it was the huge boost in the sale of restraints and blindfolds that took the adult industry by surprise. Apparently there are a lot of people who are either into – or want to experiment with – bondage and restraints, both with and without discipline. It appears that the trilogy helped normalize a type of behavior that most people previously thought was too kinky to even consider.

So what actually qualifies as a restraint? The reality is that holding your partner down with the weight of your body, or physically grabbing their arms or hands, is a fairly common method of restraint. The next level of restraints may include use of a necktie, scarf or handcuffs. At a more advanced level there are restraints like rope, chain, leather apparatus, ball gags, masks and bondage tape.

So what makes restraints so exciting? Many adults find it liberating to hand over control to their partner. This exchange of power and surrendering of control can awaken and heighten the sensations for both the submissive person and the dominant one. While applying restraints is often used during foreplay, it doesn’t always lead to sex. In fact, simply seeing someone restrained can be sexually stimulating!

What should you do before engaging in restraint play? Unless you know that your partner really wants to do it, you should talk it through to determine acceptable boundaries before you begin and agree on a safe-word. If you’re new to experimenting with restraint play, you should begin slowly to gain trust.

So what happens after a sub (submissive party) has been restrained? There should be eagerness, anticipation and a little fear of the unknown, accompanied by some abandonment of inhibitions and an abundance of lust. If there is some role-play, either or both participants might be dressed in leather, latex, rubber, stockings or other fantasy wear. Often restraint is part of a sexual fantasy so if the atmosphere is right, the experience can be exhilarating and sexually rewarding for all.

Is there always discipline involved? Not always, but the combination of pleasure and pain can be very sensual. When a sub is restrained it’s often their buttocks that are the focus of attention during disciplining. Their size and makeup enables them to endure a lot of punishment with little pain afterwards. Buttocks are often struck with a hand, paddle, flogger, whip or cane. (Obviously pain thresholds should be predetermined to ensure boundaries are not crossed.)

Sex toys such as vibrators, dongs and clitoral stimulators are often used on someone who is restrained, and watching a sub squirm in anticipation can be truly captivating. Having a variety of sex toys and other props to use on a sub can be very seductive, especially since the sub doesn’t have control over what’s being used and when.

For a Dom (dominant party), the power they feel knowing that they can pleasure the sub how and when they want is one of the reasons they get a high from the sex using restraints.

Role-play and bringing sexual fantasies into play is a great way to ensure sex between couples doesn’t become mundane or boring. If what you do is consensual and all parties enjoy it, why not get your restraints on?

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Sexology 101

Need tips for getting more sex?

Whether it’s once a year or more frequently, everyone should at times reassess where they are in life and perhaps re-evaluate what’s important. And if they have a partner, they should communicate what they want and what makes them happy. If it’s more sex, or if they want to try new things or start living out their sexual fantasies, they need to have that conversation.

There always needs to be a catalyst for change. If someone is not happy with their sex life, they need to do something about it.  Following are some tips to help you reach your sexual goals.

  1. Be honest and realistic with both yourself and your partner. Reassess your current sex life and discuss what you’re happy with, what you’re not happy with and what you’d like to change. Discuss your sexual fantasies and whether or not you’d like to act them out – or try, rediscover or buy – new sex toys.
  1. Make sure that your relationship is going smoothly. Unlike most men, women typically need to feel an emotional connection with their partner in order to enjoy sex. And that’s only going to happen when they feel loved and when they feel they’re in a stable relationship. Think about your relationship and evaluate any issues you may have; if you can work through them, it sets the stage for more sex.
  1. Boost your and your partner’s libido. Remember there’s a direct connection between your and your partner’s libido and exercise, diet and overall lifestyle. Being overweight, a bad diet, being overly stressed, drinking too much alcohol, smoking, not getting enough exercise or sleep etc., can adversely impact your libido. If either you or your partner has a low libido, it doesn’t bode well for having more – or better – sex.
  1. Plan regular date nights. Most of us have busy lives these days so it’s important to plan regular times when you and your partner can have some time to yourselves without friends, kids or other distractions. This time together spent reconnecting can set the stage for more sex. Weekends away from home are a great way to spice up your sex life!
  1. Show more affection. Having sex usually has some prerequisites such as affection, passion and intimacy. If you’re not happy with how much sex you’re having, consider showing a bit more affection – it’s a surefire aphrodisiac! Assess how much passion there is in your relationship and see how you can improve on it.
  1. Spice things up a bit. Maybe it’s time to revisit foreplay techniques, and the way you currently have sex, as sex can become monotonous if it’s the same each time. Try new positions – possibly introduce sex furniture – and get more adventurous.
  1. Start being nicer to your partner! Everyone likes to be given compliments and made to feel appreciated. It makes them feel good about themselves and the relationship they’re in. Women especially love compliments regarding how they look because it makes them feel sexy. And if they feel sexy, be prepared for more sex!

Life’s not all about having great sex, but let’s face it, a great sex life can help make us happy!

 

Categories
Sexology 101

Evolution of the Rabbit Vibrator

The rabbit vibrator has been described as the holy grail of sex toys and users would say rightfully so. There are hundreds of versions of the famous rabbit and millions are sold annually worldwide. So why are they so popular?

Prior to 1970’s the only vibrators available battery-operated, plastic rocket shaped or realistic rubber and latex versions. With the vibrations only occurring at the base of the toy, they didn’t really address a woman’s body properly.

Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, which means that those sex toys were seriously lacking in design. A Japanese sex toy maker – who realized the failures of these sex toys – is accredited with the invention of the first dual-action vibrator with a clitoral stimulator in the 70’s. And so began the journey to develop the best sex toys ever.

So why call is it called a rabbit vibrator? Obviously it has rabbit-shaped ears, but it got its name because Japanese law prohibits the manufacture/sale of sex toys that look too realistic. So the devices were formed to look like animals and offered in bright colors to sidestep the “no-sex-toys-allowed” rule.

Also of note – the rabbit is considered to be a lucky charm in Japan and many consider a rabbit’s foot to be a lucky charm. There are a lot of sexual implications with the use of the term ‘rabbit’ so it’s appropriate that the best selling sex toy has its name.

Following are our most popular rabbits!

Silhouette S17 – The Silhouette S17 is an ergonomically curved, body forming premium Silicone massager, featuring dual motors with 10 incredible functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. Intense incremental speed control allows you to find the perfect speed for you or your partner. USB rechargeable (includes charging cord).

G-Vibe 2 – Gvibe 2, second generation, is impressively smart toy for both women’s and men’s pleasure. Gvibe 2 now has 100% extra power as it boasts 3 powerful motors – 2 in the tips and 1 in the shaft. Six new vibration modes with changeable intensity – from light tremors to intense vibration.

Kinky Bunny – Two powerful motors with 12 vibration modes, one button easy control. It’s extremely quiet and made of velvety smooth silicone. The Kinky Bunny is splash proof so it’s suitable for the shower. Rechargeable (USB cable included).

Pretty Love Uriah – 12-function dual motor rabbit. Made of silicone material. Rechargeable and has a voice-activation Mode.

While rabbit vibrators will probably never replace a guy in the bedroom, they will continue to be an excellent substitute, and for couples they’ll continue to make for great foreplay!

 

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Sexology 101

Friends with Benefits: Can It Really Work?

Many people consider having FWB because they are single and time-poor, or maybe they’ve just come out of a long relationship and aren’t ready for commitment. Most people need a timeout after a long-term relationship before they start dating again or before they feel the need to enter into another serious relationship.

We believe that FWB relationships can work, but only under the following circumstances.

  1. Honesty is vital. Both parties must be honest with each other regarding what they want and expect from the arrangement.
  1. Communication must be ongoing. At some stage of any FBW relationship things can change. Passionate connections can grow and there’s a strong chance that over time either or both of you will want more from the relationship. So it’s important that ongoing communication regarding how each party feels is necessary.
  1. Rules and boundaries must be defined. Rules and boundaries should be defined in the very beginning to avoid future complications, especially since the absence of issues is often the main attraction for initially entering into a FWB relationship.
  1. Always practice safe sex. If the two of you agree that you won’t be sexually exclusive with each other, you need to practice sex safe to decrease the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.
  1. Be aware of the risks. While there are numerous risks associated with a FWB arrangement, the two most prominent ones would be that things won’t work out and you’ll ruin a great friendship and/or one of you will begin to have deeper feeling for the other and will get hurt when the relationship stalls at the FWB status.
  1. Acknowledge FWB relationships typically don’t last very long. When entering into this type of relationship, you’ll probably both agree that having casual sex with a trusted friend just couldn’t get any better. But over time things usually change as one may develop feelings for the other or find someone else that they want to be with. 
  1. Be aware that jealousy may become an issue. It’s human nature for someone to experience jealousy if their partner – FWB or otherwise – is either dating or having sex with someone else. Even if you’ve decided upfront that the prospect of sharing your ‘friend’ may not be entirely acceptable, it’s a necessary conversation to have.
  1. Don’t do it with a coworker. When the FWB relationship ends, there is typically some awkwardness, which means that you won’t be able to work together. In the unlikely event that the FWB arrangement progresses into a committed relationship, this can also be complicated if you’re coworkers.
  1. Only consider a FWB relationship with someone you typically wouldn’t fall in love with. While this should be the general rule of thumb, it doesn’t always work. In the best-case scenario, you need to be physically attracted to have sex with them. So it’s theoretically a fine line between the person you might consider for a FWB vs. a committed relationship.
  1. Explore your sexual horizons. Some couples in a committed relationship have a problem sharing their sexual fantasies due to fear of judgment or embarrassment. A FWB arrangement is a great way for both you and your FWB to explore taboo topics and experience the fantasies that you wouldn’t otherwise consider with a partner.

Friends with benefits can work, although it’s not for everyone and there’s certainly potential for complications to arise. So if you think you’ve got what it takes, go for it!