While the sale of sex toys skyrocketed in the months following the release of 50 Shades of Grey, it was the huge boost in the sale of restraints and blindfolds that took the adult industry by surprise. Apparently there are a lot of people who are either into – or want to experiment with – bondage and restraints, both with and without discipline. It appears that the trilogy helped normalize a type of behavior that most people previously thought was too kinky to even consider.
So what actually qualifies as a restraint? The reality is that holding your partner down with the weight of your body, or physically grabbing their arms or hands, is a fairly common method of restraint. The next level of restraints may include use of a necktie, scarf or handcuffs. At a more advanced level there are restraints like rope, chain, leather apparatus, ball gags, masks and bondage tape.
So what makes restraints so exciting? Many adults find it liberating to hand over control to their partner. This exchange of power and surrendering of control can awaken and heighten the sensations for both the submissive person and the dominant one. While applying restraints is often used during foreplay, it doesn’t always lead to sex. In fact, simply seeing someone restrained can be sexually stimulating!
What should you do before engaging in restraint play? Unless you know that your partner really wants to do it, you should talk it through to determine acceptable boundaries before you begin and agree on a safe-word. If you’re new to experimenting with restraint play, you should begin slowly to gain trust.
So what happens after a sub (submissive party) has been restrained? There should be eagerness, anticipation and a little fear of the unknown, accompanied by some abandonment of inhibitions and an abundance of lust. If there is some role-play, either or both participants might be dressed in leather, latex, rubber, stockings or other fantasy wear. Often restraint is part of a sexual fantasy so if the atmosphere is right, the experience can be exhilarating and sexually rewarding for all.
Is there always discipline involved? Not always, but the combination of pleasure and pain can be very sensual. When a sub is restrained it’s often their buttocks that are the focus of attention during disciplining. Their size and makeup enables them to endure a lot of punishment with little pain afterwards. Buttocks are often struck with a hand, paddle, flogger, whip or cane. (Obviously pain thresholds should be predetermined to ensure boundaries are not crossed.)
Sex toys such as vibrators, dongs and clitoral stimulators are often used on someone who is restrained, and watching a sub squirm in anticipation can be truly captivating. Having a variety of sex toys and other props to use on a sub can be very seductive, especially since the sub doesn’t have control over what’s being used and when.
For a Dom (dominant party), the power they feel knowing that they can pleasure the sub how and when they want is one of the reasons they get a high from the sex using restraints.
Role-play and bringing sexual fantasies into play is a great way to ensure sex between couples doesn’t become mundane or boring. If what you do is consensual and all parties enjoy it, why not get your restraints on?