Bad sex myths can take control of your thoughts and actions. Today we’re reclaiming the bedroom by putting these common sex myths to sleep.
So let me ask: “When is the last time you had really good sex?” I’m not referring to “maintenance” sex – which is important for every relationship – but memorable, toe-curling, delicious sex.
If you are like most people, it’s probably been quite some time. In today’s busy world, we don’t prioritize our sexual pleasure often enough and make time for our marriages, so it’s not surprising when our intimacy turns dull or uninspired.
To make matters worse, most of us suffer from a lack of education about our own bodies and our sexual responses. Our culture is rampant with myths about sex, and these distorted ideas about lovemaking can impact our pleasure and our connection with our partner. We want to help couples reclaim their sexual birthright, which is the right that we all have to enjoy sex, love, and intimacy as whole, vulnerable, and conscious people.
But, before you can begin to embrace new ideas about sex and love, you first have to debunk these common sex myths; so let’s get started!
- Sex gets boring as you age. Not true. Research shows that most people report that their sex lives actually improve as they get older. In particular, women report increased confidence and sexual pleasure. This is probably because they are more comfortable in their bodies, less inhibited, and unafraid to ask for what they want. So menopause doesn’t have to be the end of your sexual pleasure – it could be just the beginning.
- Men think about sex every 7 seconds. That is a myth! Sure, some men think about sex a lot (as do some women), but it is time we stop broadcasting the message that men are always in the mood and ready to go. Studies have debunked this myth quite some time ago and it’s time for it to go away. Men have “off” days just like anyone else when they are not in the mood for sex.
- Size matters. No matter the size of a man’s penis, sexual satisfaction comes down to how giving, present, and passionate of a lover you are. Few women actually reach orgasm from simple intercourse anyway, so things like foreplay, oral sex, manual stimulation, sex toys, etc. can all make a man a great lover—regardless of the size of his penis.
- Great sex just happens naturally. This is such a universal myth that can really result in great damage. People think that if they have to put a lot of effort into their sex life it means their passion is nonexistent or that any sexual pleasure they enjoy is not authentic. That’s just not true. Like all things that are worthwhile in this world, it takes effort to keep a sex life hot and passionate over the years—and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just the opposite – you should be proud of being such an invested and committed partner. It’s a demonstration of your priorities to your spouse and marriage.
Remember, great sex takes time and effort but that doesn’t mean it will be boring, dull work. Instead, it can be passionate and transformative, and time and practice help you become not only a better lover, but a better partner and a better person.