All of us at some point had to deal with a partner who’s boring in bed. Sex should be fun! But when one partner is all about switching things up while the other likes to stick with the same routine, someone’s going to be left feeling unsatisfied.
If you come to the realization that your partner is boring in bed, congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step towards better sex. So here are some things you can do if you feel like your partner is a bore in the bedroom.
1. First, take a look at yourself. Before you start playing the blame game, it’s important to take a look at yourself first. So take some ownership and think about what works to make it more interesting for both of you. Once you’ve figured that out, you’ll be able to communicate that to your partner.
2. Have foreplay all day long. Remember foreplay starts after the last orgasm. So doing something small during the day like sending sexy texts about what you’d like to do to your partner when you see them later can make things much hotter when you both get home.
3. Think of sex as a team effort. Partners who are ‘boring in bed’ may just not be used to taking initiative when it comes to mixing it up sexually or there can simply be a lack of understanding of how to make things more exciting. The more engaged and spontaneous you both can be, the more likely you’ll be together longer in a satisfying relationship over all.
4. Be spontaneous and take initiative. If your partner isn’t taking the lead on making things more fun, do it yourself! You can even make a game out of it by seeing who can surprise each other the most.
5. Accessorize your sex life by bringing out the toys. This is part of the purpose of sex toys – varied stimulation helps to keep you both engaged to be more orgasmic. Surprise your partner with a trip to the local adult store in Tampa and explore all the new offerings, such as couples vibrators.
6. Focus on sensuality. So many people get stuck on sexual compatibility that they forget nerves and anxiety can really wreck havoc. Rather than focusing on sex, focus on sensuality. You can buy new candles and oils to set the mood. You can even give each other a massage to help decrease anxiety and open communication.
7. Be open and honest with your feelings in the nicest way possible. Even if you know you like to keep things simple in bed, nobody wants to hear that they’re boring or vanilla. It’s always good to be sensitive when you’re talking about issues related to sex – if you’re too blunt with the truth, it can really impact your partner’s confidence.
8. Use visuals to help show your partner what you like. Don’t be afraid to use porn or articles to help describe things you want to try. Only you can gauge you and your partner’s comfort level with porn, but it can oftentimes be a great conversation starter.
9. Check in after sex. After sex is a great time to check in about what went well and share some moments to enjoy just holding each other. Talking about sex can be a sensitive topic, so always start with the positives and try to avoid ‘you’ messages.
Remember that everyone’s definition of “boring” is different. That’s why knowing yourself and being able to communicate that is important. In turn, your partner might become more comfortable sharing what they like. You never know — opening up about what you want in bed may just be exactly what your sex life needs.