Sexology 101

What Makes Sex Great?

People always seem to be in search of great sex. Magazine and blogs are filled with articles detailing the supposedly few simple things that people can do to make it happen. And sometimes these sex tips are promoted as if there is some secret information that can be shared and you will magically start having great sex. The problem is that the idea of great sex is subjective and changes from person to person.

While we’re all unique, there are some common feelings as to what constitutes great sex. Is the length and intensity of the orgasm, or could it be the number of orgasms that defines great sex?

Maybe great sex relates to how much we’re turned on. Or maybe it’s because of the spontaneity factor, the break from the normal routine or the fact that you’re having it with a new partner that makes it so good. So what makes great sex great?

It all starts with passion, desire and enthusiasm! If you’re ‘into’ someone (whether it’s love, lust or simply infatuation) and you’re turned on, then you’re on your way towards great sex. But it all needs to start with passion that is similar to youthful exuberance.

Unlike men, women typically need an emotional connection in order for them to enjoy great sex. Without an emotional connection, it simply comes down to lust, and at times that’s simply not enough. Sure most of us have probably had great sex with a stranger, a one-night stand or a friend with benefits, but this is not the norm.

Sometimes the first few times a couple has sex it can be uncomfortable or even awkward. And it’s not because they’re not turned on; it’s usually because they’re trying too hard. In some cases, one or both partners aren’t aware of what really turns their partner on or what leaves them quivering in ecstasy.

With time and communication (both verbally and with body language), they learn what the other needs for maximum sexual pleasure. Many couples find that the ability for great sex increases as the relationship matures.

Think of it like fine wine. Over time, and in the right conditions some wines get better after a few years. Unfortunately, however, it can plateau over time and from there it’s all downhill. There’s not much you can do when this starts happening to the wine you’ve had in your cellar for a few years other than quickly drink it, give it away or watch it depreciate even more. Fortunately when your sex life hits a plateau, you can stop the decline and get it back on track to the point of once again being great.

Can you have great sex alone with masturbation or using sex toys? Absolutely! In fact, sometimes it’s just what’s needed. Can sex be great sex without actual penetration? Sure! Oral sex, sexless sex and mutual masturbation can all be great sex!

The bottom line is that there are no rules as to what defines great sex. You and your partner just have to explore and experience your way to ecstasy!



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