Sexology 101

Is Your Partner a Selfish Lover? Here’s What To Do. Nobody Likes a Selfish Lover!

Men can typically finish without foreplay, fellatio, or hand jobs, but very few women “finish” without external stimulation. This becomes a problem when dealing with a selfish lover. So how do you spot a selfish lover before you become too attached? Here are some signs that your lover may be selfish in bed.

Your partner never gives and always takes.

If your partner is always in the receiving mode, expecting you to do all of the work and you want a little more effort from your partner, tell them that.

A selfish lover doesn’t take time to find out what you like.

Maybe your partner really does want to learn how to please you better, but just feels strange asking. It’s important to take some time outside of the bedroom to bring up what you want from sex.

They don’t care whether or not you have an orgasm.

If you feel like you’re getting the short end of the orgasm stick, talk to your partner about making sure you have an orgasm during foreplay, and then maybe another during the main event.

They won’t use sex toys.

If your partner has too big of an ego to allow toys into your sex, they’re not thinking about your pleasure. Bring up the idea of using sex toys, because you can’t know if your partner is open to it unless you discuss it.

They’re not interested in trying anything new.

This could be a cue that they’re a selfish lover or that they’re not that into you. Everyone has different sexual tastes, so it could just be that your partner isn’t turned on by whatever you want to try. Ask why they’re not interested.

They don’t make time for foreplay.

For women, sex is most pleasurable when they’re wet and penetrative sex can actually hurt if they aren’t. Someone young and inexperienced might not know how to do foreplay right, so it’s about having a conversation to explain why no-foreplay sex isn’t working for you.

They come too soon, and fall right to sleep.

If your selfish lover consistently comes too fast, discuss other ways you can make sure you get pleasure, too, like them giving you oral sex before or after they come.

They don’t communicate.

Communication is lubrication – you have to be able to be present with each other and connect.

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