Sexology 101

Introducing Toys into the Relationship:

Introducing toys into your relationship:

Everyone who has their own private toy collection in their night stand has had this one issue when they start a new relationship; when can I begin to introduce my night stand goodies into our sexual relationship? Many men and women have their own private collection to use when flying solo, but your night stand surprise can be great for adding to a sexual experience with a partner. The hardest part about this can be the when, where, and what conversation that we must all have with our partner if we wanna add some toys into the relationship.

In many people’s minds they hear sex toy and they get the image of a giant silicone penis, or being blindfolded, gagged and spanked with a belt. While that may be right up your alley, if it isn’t there are many less intimidating options that wont scare your partner away.


First and for most always try and be as open as possible with your partner in the bedroom. Make sure before adding some toys that you are both communicating what you do and don’t like in the bedroom. This can be as simple as guiding a wondering hand in the right place, or letting them know verbally when they have found the right move or spot on you. In doing this you are building a good level of trust and intimate connection between each other. Once you feel comfortable together and both know what gets the other one going you can begin to ease into the conversation gently.

Bringing it up:

Sitting around the dinner table may not be the best time to bring up the bedroom toy conversation, in the middle of sex isn’t the best time or way to bring it up either. So when is? Once you feel comfortable together and you want to bring it up, make sure you do it in a private setting and that you are approaching them in a positive exciting way. The last thing your partner should feel is that they aren’t enough for you in the bedroom and you need more. The point of toys in a relationship isn’t to replace your partner it’s to enhance the relationship and helps keep the fireworks going. Before asking to use toys, make sure you do some research on the different toys that are out there, so when you pop the adult question, you have some background knowledge to give if they aren’t 100% on board at first.

Reassure your partner:

It is important to be able to articulate why you would like to introduce a sex toy into your sex life. Focus on what you already like about your sessions and reassure your partner that you feel it will help you add more fun in the bedroom and also help reach a new level of intimacy. Make it clear a sex toy is no substitute for the emotional closeness you feel when you are sexually intimate with each other.

Shop for toys together:

Once you have had the talk about bringing toys into the relationship, now the question remains what toys? While you might have that great collection for your personal use, some partners might not be comfortable with using something you already have. When you have both agreed to bring a toy into the mix, we suggest you shop and pick one out together. This process alone will bring you closer together and can help get a partner who is still on the fence about it over to your side.  You can both decide what kind of toy you want to get, maybe a C-ring, a mini vibe or even a fun sex game is what you decide on. Whatever choice you guys make, it will be easier to do together.

No Pressure:

If your other half still isn’t on board with bringing toys into the relationship, don’t push it! It is important that both of you feel comfortable introducing sex toys into your relationship. Leave the subject alone for the time being and focus on experimenting with other things in the bedroom. Maybe a toy is too much too soon, but using an erotic massage oil to give your partner a sensual massage is a great way to mix things up but still keep it intimate. You might want to try introducing a sexy outfit for some fun fantasy play. As your partner becomes more comfortable with different sensations and experiences they may begin to warm up to the idea of sex toys.

Let them be in the driver seat:

Many people worry that the toy they bring into the relationship will get more attention then them and no one wants that! To avoid your partner seeing a sex toy as competition you can start off with a remote toy that lets him remain in control of your pleasure. It will be a highly erotic experience for them to administer the powerful sensation as they tease you from a distance.

Mutual benefits:

Sex toys aren’t just for women, men have toys too. A great toy for couples, is a toy that both partners receive pleasure from, such as a C-ring or wearable toys such as the We-Vibe. These toys offer an array of pleasurable possibilities for both you and your partner.