Sexology 101

Hotter Sex: How to Make Planned Sex More Exciting Scheduled sex doesn't have to be stale sex!

When we think about sex, or rather, when we think about good sex, we often think about being spontaneous. This is because being spontaneous means you’re living in the moment. Today we’re discussing how you can have hotter sex, even if it’s been scheduled.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always make spontaneity easy because you have children, a job and a to-do list a mile long. And sometimes, life leads you to scheduling sex – but that doesn’t mean things have to get old and stale. It simply means you’re adding a little organization to your intimate time. And that can work out in your favor.

Here are five ways to have hotter sex, even if you planned it.

Take your sex somewhere new.

So you’ve scheduled sex, but just because you know when it’s going to happen doesn’t mean you know where it’s going to happen. Let your inner attention-seeker out and try public sex, maybe in a bar bathroom or a park after dark.

But, of course, that’s not the only option – you can always go to a hotel. If that’s not in your budget, check out some new places at home. Try using different rooms or changing the normal routine. Just make sure that any space you choose is inviting. If you’re used to a particular routine, try to let go of some parts of it to make room for new exciting options. 

For hotter sex, turn expectancy into emotional foreplay

Skeptics may say that scheduled sex puts unnecessary pressure on individuals to perform and makes intimacy feel like a chore. Those who schedule sex do so because they like sex, and they want to continue having it. Some even say it carries certain perks spontaneous sex does not.

When you schedule sex, it actually gives you both something to look forward to. It allows you to lengthen the emotional foreplay. Try letting your partner know throughout the day how much you are looking forward to it.

Use date night as a chance to surprise each other.

Just because you have sex on the calendar doesn’t mean you can’t keep your partner guessing. Although you have scheduled time for sex, take turns being setting the mood and initiating it. One partner can light candles or buy a nice smelling massage oil. Surprise each other with something fun and playful.

You can also change up the type of sex you have. Be creative – there’s a whole world waiting to be explored.

Bring in the sex toys.

Trying bringing sex toys into the act for hotter sex. It will help keep things fresh, fully orgasmic. This can also help assure your partner that you haven’t reconciled yourself to stale scheduled sex. And that can be a pretty big turn on.

When certain notions about your sex life get comfortable over time it can be challenging to open your mind to a new way of thinking about it. Some people need to change the narrative they have about sex by opening up to the idea that it can be fresh and exciting.

Slow it down.

No one wants to feel rushed before or during sex. For hotter sex, undress each other, take time exploring each other’s bodies, maybe start a bath, begin with a massage, or just be playful with each other. Take time to disengage from everything else so you can concentrate on each other. It’s important to block out enough time for the fun and the aftercare.

Don’t just throw your clothes back on and go back to life or roll over and fall asleep. Instead, take time to pamper each other because it will help your body remember the good feelings, and get more aroused and turned on the next time.

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