Sexology 101

Dos And Don’ts Of Oral Sex

Oral sex…it’s an amazing foreplay technique, a major turn-on, a great appetizer to sex, or a full course all on its own. Whether you give it or receive it, it is an extremely arousing and intimate way to interact with your partner’s body.

But there are rules if you want to ensure it’s pleasurable for everyone involved. Want to make going down a real treat? Here are some tips, tricks and traps to avoid.

Do: Start off clean. We live in a tropical climate and so sweat is a reality. So it would be nice to present a clean dining area to your partner. There are persons who may prefer a little extra flavoring with the sweat, but generally, shower first.

Do: Keep it neat. Besides being squeaky clean, you should also pay attention to what’s happening in your public area. Some people are okay with – and even turned on by – pubic hair, while others find it to be an annoyance during oral sex. Be considerate of your partner and what he or she is comfortable with.

Do: Give feedback. We take it for granted that we know what our partners want. That’s not necessarily the case. Talk about your desires with each other. Let your partner know how he/she is doing. Give instructions and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Remember, your partner is trying to please you, so clearly communicate so that adjustments can be made if necessary.

Don’t: Ignore your partner. Some people are so caught up in their perceived ‘skill’ that they miss the part where their partner is not enjoying the experience. Pay attention and be open to making adjustments based on your partner’s preferences. Try to be an attentive and flexible lover.

Do: Know your anatomy: It is important to know and understand your partner’s nether regions. And it is a region, even when it comes to oral sex. Think of it as a map. In that case, the first thing to know is that there is a lot more ground to cover than just her clitoris or his penis. If you understand how to work with the whole area – and even the whole body – you’ll be on your way to giving much better oral stimulation.

Don’t: Forget technique. Great oral sex involves more than just using the tongue for stimulation. You should use the entire mouth: the lips, the teeth (only by request) and the entire tongue – not just the tip, but the ridge and surface as well. Alternating between using different parts of the mouth in different combinations will always keep your partner guessing about what you’ve got up your sleeve next.

Don’t: Forget a few extras. You can accompany and highlight oral sex by using other methods of foreplay. Analingus, better known as “rimming” or “salad tossing” is a great pairing to oral sex. You can also combine penetration using your fingers or sex toys to add to the stimulation.

So go get your freak on…and don’t be afraid to add dessert.

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