Maybe you’ve always wanted to try it but feel nervous about taking the plunge. Or maybe anal is already part of your sex routine and you’re looking for tips to make it even hotter. Or maybe you’re just curious to know what backdoor sex is really like.
Whether you’re an anal virgin or a die-hard fan, you’ll want to keep reading because we’re answering the most common questions and offering some tips.
Isn’t it Kind of…Gross?
The biggest misconception about anal sex is that it’s disgusting and dirty. For some people, that can be true. But everyone should know anal sex can be an extremely erotic, exciting activity. If you’re willing to try it, you might find it an unexpectedly fun addition to your sexual repertoire.
But Does It Hurt?
Research suggests that pain is common, especially in the beginning. But with adequate relaxation and arousal, it should feel good for both parties. If you find insertion painful or difficult, stop and go back to the drawing board.
How Do I Get Started?
The most important thing is feeling comfortable—you can even wash beforehand if that will help. Then it’s all about starting slowly. You can begin with inserting a finger first and using lube to get comfortable with the pressure in your rectum.
Beginner’s Tip: Try Solo Play First
Your two sphincter muscles are not only essential to anal health but also to pleasure. These ring-like structures control what goes in and out of your butt, so you need to become familiar with their functioning and learn to exercise control over them.
Beginner’s Tip: Breathe Deeply
Holding your breath interferes with muscle relaxation, which is essential to anal sex. As you breathe deeply, your inner sphincter muscle will relax to facilitate penetration.
Beginner’s Tip: Use Lube
Most people prefer silicone-based lube for anal sex. But no matter what type you choose, lube is a non-negotiable when it comes to anal play.
Pro Tip: Double Your Pleasure
If you have a vagina and a clit, use them. Insert a toy into your vagina during anal in order to press against the little space along the lower/back wall of your vagina, between the cervix and the vaginal wall. Some women attribute orgasm from anal sex to this hot spot.
Pro Tip: Try the “Lap Dance” Position
The penetrative partner sits on a chair, and their partner stands over them as though they’re giving a lap dance. This not only provides a sexy view, but it also allows the standing partner to exercise total control.
Pro Tip: Incorporate Some Toys
No Matter What, Always Be Safe
The anus is sensitive and prone to tearing and infection, so be sure to practice safer sex with lube and condoms. It’s also important not to cross-contaminate – you never want to put an object in your bum and then back into your vagina.
If you’re not into anal sex, that’s okay too – you don’t have to create a sexual bucket list and cross off every item in order to enjoy a fulfilling sex life—you simply need to keep an open mind.