Anal Fingering: The Top 3 Ground Rules It's The Logical First Step Before Trying Anal Sex

If you haven’t heard of anal fingering, it’s exactly what it sounds like – inserting one or more fingers in someone’s anus. And if you’re contemplating anal sex, this would be the logical first step. Read: How to Have Anal Sex That Doesn’t Hurt.

Even if you don’t want to progress to using a penis or sex toy for anal sex, fingering can be erotic for everyone. The human anus contains numerous nerve endings around the opening and inside that can feel especially delightful when they’re touched. But there are some ground rules you need to consider before giving it a try.

Rule #1: Talk To Your Partner Before Engaging In Anal Fingering

Imagine a man sitting around a table, talking to his buddies about a sexual adventure he’d had the night before. He looks around awkwardly, leans across the table and whispers, “Dude, she stuck her finger in my butt.” The major issue in this scenario is that the man who was fingered clearly had no idea it was coming.

That should never happen in real life because consent is important and also because surprise fingering can make a person’s body shut down. The surprise can actually make them stiffen up. And you can’t really finger someone’s anus without some prep work, which leads us to rule #2:

Rule #2: Use Lube When Anal Fingering

Because buttholes don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do, they need help getting wet. If you attempt to finger someone whose anus is completely dry, you can actually tear it. But even if you don’t tear anything, dry anal can be painful.

Find a lube you like and use it. Silicone lube tends to last longer than water-based, so that might be the best option. But, if you already have a water-based lube you like go ahead and use it. Just keep it close by so you can add more when things begin to dry up.

Rule #3: Consider What Could Be Painful During Anal Fingering

If you have long fingernails, consider either cutting them or using a finger condom to protect your partner’s insides. Regardless of which option you choose, you’ll want to douse your fingers in the lube all the way to the base, and then start slowly.

Read: How to Choose a Lubricant for Both Pleasure and Safety.

You also don’t want to just stick your finger in – it can be helpful if whoever is being fingered takes a moment to take some deep, slow breaths. Having a relaxed body means having a relaxed anus, which will make the whole experience more pleasurable for everyone involved.

There are a variety of techniques you can try once your fingers are inside the anus. Gently press your fingertip along the inner wall of the anus to delight those feel-good nerves. Or, you can put your finger in up to the base and then gently massage around your partner’s rectum. The only rule here is to proceed slowly and gently at first.

Eventually, you and your partner will be able to explore more about the pleasure of anal fingering. Happy adventures!

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