When it comes to intercourse for many women, orgasm can remain rather elusive. Less than 30 percent of women report being able to have regular orgasms during intercourse. Two in three women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and most of us don’t get it when we’re having penis-in-the-vagina sex.
What are we to do? Well, there is actually a lot we can do if we want to learn how to orgasm from sex. If we want to have more orgasms, we need to take our pleasure and sexual empowerment into our own hands.
Here are 7 tips to get you to orgasm every single time. (Well, maybe not every single time, but to greatly increase your chances!)
- Look at a diagram of your vulva. First things first, look up a picture of your vulva. Check out where the clitoris is. Guess what? You actually can’t physically see the entire clitoris. Most of the clitoris, including the internal wings and vestibular bulbs, are internal. The clitoris is an iceberg and all the best stuff lies under the surface. Take some time to look and touch your vulva to figure out where everything is and what feels good. (How to find your G-spot.)
- Masturbate regularly. Masturbation is how you learn about what makes you orgasm. If you can’t make yourself orgasm, no one else is going to. Masturbation also breeds internal confidence. This is important when you’re having sex. If you don’t feel comfortable, you won’t be able to relax enough to focus on your orgasm. Sex is a vulnerable activity. You’re naked and worried about how you look, sound, and feel. The more confidence you can amp up, the better. (10 reasons we love masturbation.)
- Get a couples’ sex toy. A great and easy way to get clitoral stimulation is by using a couples’ vibrator. You can get something wearable that hooks under the labia and sits on the clitoris. There are couples vibrators that hook inside the vagina and also sit atop the clitoris like the We Vibe Sync. Lastly, you can get a small finger vibe or a wearable hand vibrator. (How to use a remote controlled couples’ vibrator.)
- Stress the importance of cunnilingus. It can be a scary thing, but we cannot stress the importance enough. It helps you have orgasms and also to lubricate the vagina before sex. Fully impress upon your partner how cunnilingus is on the forefront of your pleasure frontier. Offer to return the favor; after all, everyone should get some oral sex.
- Touch yourself during sex. If you’d rather get some manual clitoral stimulation, go for it. Touching yourself during sex is super-hot and shows that you know what you like. If your partner would rather do it for you, by all means, give that a try.
- Choose sex positions that actually work for you. Figuring out how to get your clitoris in on the action during intercourse requires a bit of trial and error. Every woman likes different positions. Try out a variety of different positions and pay special attention to where your clitoris makes contact.
- Tell your partner when something isn’t working for you. If you want to learn how to orgasm from sex each time, you have to speak up. You must tell your partner when something isn’t quite working or straight up is miserable. You don’t have to be rude or mean about it. Straightforward does not equal mean.
In the end, your partner wants you to have orgasms too. It’s a process to learn what works for each of your bodies. Take the time to openly communicate so you can have the best sex of your life.