7 BDSM Tips For TOTAL Beginners Today we're sharing 7 BDSM tips to get you started.

Many people are curious about the erotic power BDSM, but don’t feel ready to invest in a full-scale dungeon just yet. The good news is that you can add BDSM moves to your sex life without spending a fortune on accessories or mastering a dozen types of different rope ties. Today we’re sharing 7 BDSM tips to get you started.

Even in a post-Fifty Shades world, there’s no shame in being new to BDSM. And while investing in gear and sex toys can be fun, this kind of play is ultimately about you, your partner (or partners), and consensual power exchange.

Following are our best BDSM tips.

BDSM Tips:  Talk it Through, Talk it Dirty and Put a Blindfold on It.

  1. Talk it through. When we talk about dominance and submission in BDSM, we’re talking about consensual power exchange. This means that even if a submissive partner is tied up and allowing the dominant partner to dictate what happens in a scene, the terms have been discussed and agreed upon by all partners beforehand. Before trying anything new, talk it over with your partner to make sure you’re both into whatever’s about to go down. You may be interested in choosing a safe word that stops play if needed. Need some Dom Sub ideas? Read our blog.
  2. Talk dirty. Ask your partner to talk dirty to you. Anyone can engage in dirty talk related to BDSM themes, whether you are dominant, submissive, or both. Dirty talk allows you to express your desires and verbal cues also help you visualize hot fantasies. It also lets you explore fantasies before physically trying them.
  3. Put a blindfold on it. Adding sensory deprivation to your sex life is an easy and tantalizing way to build tension. When you temporarily subtract stimuli from one sense, you can heighten others. For instance, when you can’t see because you’re wearing a blindfold, a whisper in your ear or the taste of your partner’s mouth may seem all the more intense — and exciting.

BDSM Tips:  Exercise Control, Heat it Up, Learn the Ropes and Play a Little

  1. Exercise orgasm control. Orgasm control, especially when done to a person with a penis, is usually referred to as “edging.” This involves bringing someone nearly to orgasm and then abruptly stopping the stimulation, then repeating as desired. If you’re new to orgasm control, you probably already know that delayed gratification can make the end reward that much sweeter.
  2. Heat things up with a massage candle. Candles are useful for more than just creating mood lighting. They can also be used for temperature play, or using hot and cold to provoke arousal during sexual play. In the case of candles, you can have a partner drizzle hot wax on your body, but don’t just use candles you picked up from the grocery store. The wax from those can be a little too hot. Buy massage candles designed for sex, in erotic scents. Read our blog for massage tips.
  3. Learn the ropes and cuffs. Restraint is the crux of many BDSM scenes. After you and your partner discuss what activities are on the table when one of you is tied up and what’s off-limits, the tying can begin. You don’t have to get fancy – just make sure the knot or tie is something you can undo when you’re ready. While ropes are highly versatile, you don’t have worry about your tying skills with handcuffs, and since you can also use cuffs to ensure the submissive partner is unable to touch themselves, they’re handy for experimenting with orgasm denial. Want tips for using handcuffs during sex? Read our blog.
  4. Play dress-up. Role-playing can help you get into a kinky mood as you take on the personas of people with power dynamics you want to explore, such as a boss and secretary or student and professor. Dressing up is a creative, liberating way to explore hidden desires, so if you’re turned on by being dominant or submissive with your partner – but feel a little nervous – the right outfit could help.

BDSM Tips:  Need Help?

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Want BDSM tips for introducing fetish into your relationship? Read our blog.