What is the first thing you think about when someone mentions anal sex? Is it untold pleasure? Is it sensuous closeness? Is it discovering unknown intimacy? Could it even be the best orgasms you can have?
Probably not. If you’ve never tried it, you’ve probably been told it is going to hurt.
And this is fair enough – anal sex might hurt and we all need to know that. Pain-free anal sex is not a fantastical oxymoron – it is real and it is awesome.
Check out our seven tips for having anal sex that doesn’t hurt and get down to the bottom fun.
Experiment with Self-Pleasure Before Anal Sex
If you are curious about exploring it, the best way to experiment is on your own, in your own masturbatory bliss. If you want to get a sense of what it feels like to be touched between the cheeks, reach down while you’re already enjoying strong sexual feelings. It is important to get a lay of the land, a true idea of the shape and texture of the anus.
Talk About Anal Sex Beforehand
Some people really love the spontaneity of sex, but anal fun really should be something that is discussed beforehand. This is one of the most important factors in taking pain out of the equation. And don’t just stop at an initial discussion. Anal experiences can vary greatly, so there really is no way to anticipate how you or your partner will feel during anal play.
Set the Scene
If you are too nervous, being uptight could be quite painful. One of the best ways to move from stressing to relaxing is a long, luxurious massage that warms the skin and muscles can help you or a nervous partner relax. As your partner moves closer to the epicenter between your cheeks, you’ll feel more turned on and open. (Tip: Try our massage oil candles!)
Focus on Sensuality
Taking a shower together is a hot way to bring sensuality into your anal pleasure. This also helps with the real fear of cleanliness. If you’re really worried about this, it may also help to perform an anal douche beforehand. Getting all soaped up under steamy hot water with your partner while your hands roam over each other’s bodies can set a relaxed, worry-free and sexual mood.
Make Things Slippery…Very Slippery Before Anal Sex
Lube is the best friend of anyone who wants anything to do with your anus! Remember, it does not have natural lubrication like other orifices do. Trying to penetrate your own or someone else’s anus without lube significantly increases the chances of anal tearing and pain. There are four main types of lubricant you can use: water-based, silicone, hybrid, and oil, and really, whatever works for you and your partners is important. How to choose? Read our blog post.
Size Up the Situation Before Anal Sex
One of the most frequent sources of pain during anal sex is from trying to play with something you’re just not ready to use. This is particularly true if what you’re trying to play with is a rigid penis or a sex toy. Even in the height of excitement, you have to temper your expectations of what you can fit inside you. If it is your first time enjoying ass pleasure, you and your partner need to start off small – and maybe not even take anything inside at all. Starting small and working your way up to bigger sizes will heighten your excitement and lower your chance of pain.
Take It Slow
Patience is the best virtue when it comes to anal sex. Slowing things down is one of the keys to eliminating pain during anal fun. If penetration is the ultimate goal of your anal adventure, whether with deep fingers, a sex toy, or a penis, it is important to pick a position that is both comfortable and practical. If there is any hint of discomfort, you are in complete control and can back off until good feelings return.
One last note: These suggestions offer an ideal, but we must remember that everybody’s body is different. Hopefully these ideas will help you experience pain-free anal fun, but if other things do better, please share!
Still have questions about anal sex? Check out our blog post!
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